We all get angry. Anger is an emotion as acceptable as any other, and yet for some their anger has become a problem. They feel that they tend to react more angrily than the average person, and for some it has even threatened to ruin a career or destroyed a special relationship. So at what point is the expression of an emotion a problem that needs to be managed?
Feeling an emotion, whether it is anger, anxiety, sadness, or any other emotion, is neither good nor bad. It is just an emotion. So at what point can we say that an angry reaction is unacceptable and problematic? Most would agree that the tipping point is
2. When it does not lead to further retaliation by the target’ (for example, one could write an angry letter which is then torn up)
3. ‘When it results in changes in the perceptions of the expresser or the behaviour of the target.’
Talking to a trained professional about anger management can be useful, but we cannot do anything until we are fully aware. Some people deny that they are ever angry, and so it is important to reflect on this as anger can be communicated in a number of ways, passively and actively. Consider carefully how you feel and how that makes you behave in certain situations. It is okay to feel angry, but to what degree is that anger a response to a distorted version of reality? And even if it is not distorted, is the extent of our anger a proportionate reaction to the situation?
This Anger Management blog is part of the Explore & Transform Anger Management Wellbeing toolkit. Click here to access more Wellbeing tools. If you would like to book a free 30 minute telephone consultation, send me an email by clicking here
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA Registered Counsellor & Founder of Explore & Transform
Counselling and coaching blog