Why am I so angry?
‘Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person
and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -
that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.’
- Aristotle
and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way -
that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.’
- Aristotle
There are many reasons why you might be angry. For example -
It is okay to feel angry; your emotions are neither good nor bad, they just exist. However, what you do with your anger could cause you problems.
Quick tips to manage anger
- Your anger could mask some other emotion (for example, shame or disappointment or loss).
- Your anger could be a symptom of depression. For more on depression, check out this page.
It is okay to feel angry; your emotions are neither good nor bad, they just exist. However, what you do with your anger could cause you problems.
Quick tips to manage anger
- Avoid triggering situations in the first place
- Fake it until you make it (for example, offer pleasantries or a forced smile)
- Change your body’s temperature (for example, plunge your face into some ice cold water)
- Redirect your attention / Distraction
- Walk away
- Count to ten (I am sure you have heard that one!)
- Challenge your assumptions
- Learn how to communicate assertively
- Square breathing. As set out in the diagram below, you breathe in through your nose for four seconds, and then you hold for four seconds. You then breathe out through your mouth for four seconds, and hold for four seconds. Repeat as necessary. If you have trouble with doing each set for four seconds, try two or three seconds
Let’s go a bit deeper
The quick tips set out above might help. If so, great.
But if you still find that anger is a problem, get in touch so we can go a bit deeper with this. You might need a bit of help to retrace the steps of your childhood, or the memories of a traumatic experience. Or you might need a bit of help to master skills such as assertiveness. Together, we can work this out.
The quick tips set out above might help. If so, great.
But if you still find that anger is a problem, get in touch so we can go a bit deeper with this. You might need a bit of help to retrace the steps of your childhood, or the memories of a traumatic experience. Or you might need a bit of help to master skills such as assertiveness. Together, we can work this out.
Latest blog posts to help you with anger
Chris Warren-Dickins is a psychotherapist. If you would like to ask Chris any questions, please book a free initial telephone consultation here.
Find out more about our boutique psychotherapy service, with offices in Ridgewood, Bergen County, and serving the whole of New Jersey.
