Relationship counseling
It might be time to consider relationship counseling if –
- You fight more than you express kindness to each other
- You have significantly different hopes and expectations for the relationship
- You are in fundamental disagreement about how to raise your children
- You would like to explore issues before you enter into a commitment; for example, you are considering premarital counseling
- You struggle to manage boundaries in your relationship, including boundaries with family members, friends, or use of social media
- One or more of you is experiencing depression, anxiety, addiction, or anger management issues in your relationship
How can relationship counseling help?
It takes a great deal of effort to admit that something is wrong in a relationship. And it takes even more effort to do something about it. Life gets in the way: After your children, career, parents and friends, it is hard to give your relationship any sort of attention. But an unhappy relationship can impact so many parts of your life.
Relationship counseling (also known as couples counseling, couples therapy, or marriage counseling) offers you a neutral setting to work through your difficulties. Often it is hard for people in a relationship to notice patterns of behaviour, so a professional can offer that insight. We will work hard to ensure that all perspectives are heard and understood.
The solution can sometimes be as simple as fine-tuning communication patterns within your relationship.
Or perhaps there are unresolved issues from your past. Relationship therapy is a confidential space to explore those issues, somewhere you can be heard and understood.
Sometimes a relationship is dominated by the ‘tyranny of the shoulds’. This phrase was coined by Karen Horney, and it basically suggests that we have an idea of how we should live, how others should treat us, and how society as a whole should be. When our expectations do not match reality, we can end up experiencing distress. In a relationship, there are multiple sets of ‘shoulds’, thereby increasing the risk of distress.
To help with this, we need to identify our ‘shoulds’. And we need to identify the 'shoulds' of our loved ones. Then we can negotiate and decide which 'shoulds' are mandatory for the relationship, and which we are willing to concede. We can help you with this.
Relationship counseling (also known as couples counseling, couples therapy, or marriage counseling) offers you a neutral setting to work through your difficulties. Often it is hard for people in a relationship to notice patterns of behaviour, so a professional can offer that insight. We will work hard to ensure that all perspectives are heard and understood.
The solution can sometimes be as simple as fine-tuning communication patterns within your relationship.
Or perhaps there are unresolved issues from your past. Relationship therapy is a confidential space to explore those issues, somewhere you can be heard and understood.
Sometimes a relationship is dominated by the ‘tyranny of the shoulds’. This phrase was coined by Karen Horney, and it basically suggests that we have an idea of how we should live, how others should treat us, and how society as a whole should be. When our expectations do not match reality, we can end up experiencing distress. In a relationship, there are multiple sets of ‘shoulds’, thereby increasing the risk of distress.
To help with this, we need to identify our ‘shoulds’. And we need to identify the 'shoulds' of our loved ones. Then we can negotiate and decide which 'shoulds' are mandatory for the relationship, and which we are willing to concede. We can help you with this.
A safe space for all relationship structures
We work affirmatively with all relationship structures including (but not limited to) polyamory, monogamy, open arrangements, swingers, and consensual non-monogamy.
Chris Warren-Dickins & relationship counseling
Chris Warren-Dickins is a psychotherapist and author of Beyond the Blue, a survival guide for depression, anxiety, relationship conflict, and trauma.
Latest blog posts on relationship counseling
Find out more about our boutique psychotherapy service, with offices in Ridgewood, Bergen County, and serving the whole of New Jersey.
