CPTSD: Why relationships feel so hard

Do you feel like you are constantly on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop? Does it feel impossible to truly trust the people closest to you, even when they haven't done anything wrong?

If you grew up in an environment where you felt ignored, unsafe, or emotionally overwhelmed, your mind and body learned how to survive. Even though those survival skills kept you safe in the past, in the present they are probably making things feel very heavy.
Is this how you're feeling?

Many people living with CPTSD don't realize that their daily struggles are actually symptoms of trauma. See if any of these feel familiar to you:
  • The "always on" feeling: Do you struggle with a constant sense of dread or anxiety that you can't name?
  • The need to please: Do you find yourself saying yes because you're terrified of someone being disappointed in you?
  • Emotional numbness: Do you feel checked out or disconnected from your own life, as if you're watching yourself from a distance?
  • The cycle of isolation: Do you push people away the moment they get too close because intimacy feels like a threat?
  • Harsh self-criticism: Is there a voice in your head telling you that you're too much, broken, or bad at relationships?
When you experience long-term stress or neglect (especially as a child), your body stays in survival mode, even when you have become an adult. You aren't "dramatic" and you aren't "weak." You are a survivor whose internal alarm system is stuck in the "on" position.

​Because your brain is trying to protect you from the past, it sometimes can't see the safety of the present. This is why you might experience sudden anger (fight), the urge to run away (flight), feeling paralyzed or spaced out (freeze), or over-apologizing to keep the peace (fawn).

You don't have to keep living in a state of exhaustion. Together, we can work on moving from just surviving to truly thriving.
Through our work together, you can learn how to:
  • Quiet the inner critic: Replace the "I'm broken" narrative with self-compassion.
  • Find emotional balance: Learn how to soothe the physical symptoms of anxiety and panic.
  • Build healthy boundaries: Discover how to say no without the crushing weight of guilt.
  • Create secure connections: Learn how to feel safe and calm in your relationships.
Ready to take the next step?

If you're looking for a trauma-informed therapist in New Jersey or the United Kingdom who understands the complexities of CPTSD, I am here to help. You have spent long enough looking over your shoulder. It's time to look forward.
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Chris Warren-Dickins
​Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey and the United Kingdom

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