CPTSD: Why relationships feel so hard
CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) makes relationships feel so hard. It is hard to trust someone, it is hard to feel safe around others, and it is hard to feel calm.
The world feels unsafe because, at one time, the world was unsafe. You survived a harsh environment of neglect, instability, and emotional or physical abuse, so your nervous system adapted to that environment. As a result, you might experience emotional numbing, hypervigilance, people-pleasing or isolation. These are protective adaptations because your nervous system cannot tell what year it is. It sees, smells, hears, feels things that are similar to that chaotic past, and it believes you are right there in it.
You might have heard all of this already. You might even have heard, from less experienced therapists and psychologists, that you have a “personality defect”. If this happens, switch to a mental health professional.
CPTSD is not a character flaw, it's a survival strategy. Your nervous system has been doing exactly what it is supposed to do; it has been trying to keep you safe. The trouble is, it has got a little stuck in past experiences, preventing you from seeing where there might be safety in the present. This is where the help of a compassionate therapist is essential. When you are supported by someone who recognizes your strengths and resources, you can finally learn that (under the right conditions) relationships can be safe, calming, and even healing.
Please contact me for more information about psychotherapy for CPTSD.
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
The world feels unsafe because, at one time, the world was unsafe. You survived a harsh environment of neglect, instability, and emotional or physical abuse, so your nervous system adapted to that environment. As a result, you might experience emotional numbing, hypervigilance, people-pleasing or isolation. These are protective adaptations because your nervous system cannot tell what year it is. It sees, smells, hears, feels things that are similar to that chaotic past, and it believes you are right there in it.
You might have heard all of this already. You might even have heard, from less experienced therapists and psychologists, that you have a “personality defect”. If this happens, switch to a mental health professional.
CPTSD is not a character flaw, it's a survival strategy. Your nervous system has been doing exactly what it is supposed to do; it has been trying to keep you safe. The trouble is, it has got a little stuck in past experiences, preventing you from seeing where there might be safety in the present. This is where the help of a compassionate therapist is essential. When you are supported by someone who recognizes your strengths and resources, you can finally learn that (under the right conditions) relationships can be safe, calming, and even healing.
Please contact me for more information about psychotherapy for CPTSD.
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
Stop believing you are "too much" or "broken."
Compassionate help with CPTSD.
Compassionate help with CPTSD.
Stop believing that you are “too much” or “broken” or you “ruin all relationships.”
The truth is that if you have CPTSD, you have been stuck in survival mode for too long. Your nervous system has been responding in the way it is supposed to: It has kept you safe. The trouble is, it doesn’t realize that the dangers are in the past. That’s where therapy comes in.
Together, we can slowly try a new way of being that involves trust and connection. Eventually, you will ease out of the freeze, fight, flight, or fawn responses that have dominated your life, and you will experience a more flexible and fluid response to present-day experiences.
You are not “too much” any more than you are “broken” or “bad at relationships.” You are a survivor.
Please contact me for more information about psychotherapy for CPTSD.
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
The truth is that if you have CPTSD, you have been stuck in survival mode for too long. Your nervous system has been responding in the way it is supposed to: It has kept you safe. The trouble is, it doesn’t realize that the dangers are in the past. That’s where therapy comes in.
Together, we can slowly try a new way of being that involves trust and connection. Eventually, you will ease out of the freeze, fight, flight, or fawn responses that have dominated your life, and you will experience a more flexible and fluid response to present-day experiences.
You are not “too much” any more than you are “broken” or “bad at relationships.” You are a survivor.
Please contact me for more information about psychotherapy for CPTSD.
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
