The right kind of human connection includes assertiveness, which could be described as walking your own path, not treading on toes.
Assertiveness falls in the middle of these two extremes:
Aggression – An attempt to dominate others without respecting their rights or boundaries.
Passivity – A failure to communicate one’s needs, or to allow others to encroach on your boundaries. This could be the result of fear, or an inability to assert one’s rights, but it could also be an attempt to manipulate someone.
Sort of like love, you know assertiveness when you see and feel it. I often find that looking at the way we speak can help to identify what is, and what is not, assertiveness.
Aggression – “I will leave you if you work late tonight.”
Assertiveness – “I feel lonely when you come home late from work.”
Passivity – “Fine, work late, see if I care” (when they really do care).
Assertiveness may have magical results for your relationships, but there is no mystery about assertiveness.
To be assertive, you simply need to follow these guidelines
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist and author of Beyond the Blue
+1 (201) 779-6917