A few facts about sexual violence

When it comes to sexual violence, misleading information can lead to disastrous consequences.  Survivors of sexual violence can end up without any recourse to justice, because they are not believed, or not understood.  And perpetrators can remain free to perpetrate again.

​It is important, therefore, to set out a few clear facts about sexual violence - 

• Sexual violence is about power and control. If you are focusing on the sexual element of it, you are missing the point
• Sexual violence is not just about rape. It is a broad definition which differs from state to state, but is generally accepted to include the following. And note that it includes unwanted sexual comments, attempting to remove someone’s clothing without consent, and exposure of genitalia:  
• “Any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comments or advances, or acts to traffic or otherwise directed against a person’s sexuality using coercion, by any person regardless of their relationship to the victim, in any setting, including but not limited to home and work’
• Coercion can encompass: 
• • varying degrees of force; 
• • psychological intimidation; 
• • blackmail; or 
• • threats (of physical harm or of not obtaining a job/grade etc.). 
• In addition, sexual violence may also take place when someone is not able to give consent – for instance, while intoxicated, drugged, asleep or mentally incapacitated (World Health Organization (WHO))”
• Amongst certain sections of society, there is a culture of ‘turning a blind eye’ to certain behaviour and language used against females and minorities. If you turn a blind eye to this behaviour, you are aiding and abetting sexual violence
• Men can be survivors of sexual violence as much as women can be perpetrators
• Even if just one person comes forward, and they have evidence to prove that another person engaged in sexual violence, that person is a perpetrator. It only takes one incident to make that person a perpetrator
• No matter how long ago it happened, it is still sexual violence

If you find the subject matter of this stressful in any way, take time out to look after yourself in whatever way you can. That might include taking a break from the news, social media, listening to relaxing music, prayer, meditation, losing yourself in a book of fiction, watching an uplifting television programme, or whatever allows you to disconnect from this subject matter for a while. Just long enough to regain your strength.

If you need to talk to someone, then seek help from a trained professional. 
If you would like to talk to me, you can contact me on the details set out below.  I have trained with Survivors UK to work with survivors of sexual violence. 
If you would prefer to speak to a female, I can put you in touch with someone.

Chris Warren-Dickins LPC
Telephone: (201) 779-6917
Email: chris@exploretransform.com
Online booking:  https://www.therapyportal.com/p/cwarrendickins/