ABC of CBT

We can get stuck in a pattern, rehearsing the same old behaviour even when we wish we would change. Sometimes it can help to go back to basics, to look again at our 'ABCs' -

• A is for an Activating Event – For example, an argument with a loved one
• B is for Belief – For example, ‘To have a healthy relationship, I should never have arguments with my loved ones’
• C is for Consequences – For example, I feel upset and stressed out, and I feel like a failure for having failed to live up to my Belief

If a Belief causes us distress, perhaps we need to challenge it and decide whether we want to change it in some way. We could choose a different Belief that causes us less distress.  Here is what I mean –

• A is for an Activating Event – Using the same example as above, we have an argument with a loved one.
• B is for Belief – We change our Belief to ‘To have a healthy relationship, I would like to avoid arguments, but I know that sometimes they are inevitable’
• C is for Consequences – As a result, you might end up feeling a little less stressed, and you might not feel like a failure because you have not failed to live up to the Belief 

​By changing to a less absolute Belief, you allow yourself more flexibility.  This is a more forgiving approach, and arguably a more realistic viewpoint.

Chris Warren-Dickins LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgewood NJ 07450 and Teaneck NJ 07666. To book an appointment, please telephone +1 (201) 862-7776 or email chris@exploretransform.com

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