"Breathing exercises? Is that it? How is that going to help with my anxiety?"

I often hear this, and I can understand the skepticism. After all, we were born breathing, so why do we need to set aside time to do something we do all the time?

Stanford Neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman offers a really great explanation about different types of breathing exercises, and how these can help people to teach their nervous systems "to be comfortable in uncomfortable states" (Dr Andrew Huberman), and this puts their brain in an optimal state to function.

The trouble is, no matter the neuroscience, we sometimes believe that we don't have time to do things like breathing exercises. We look upon it as a trip to the gym, an hour at least, and then with the travel to and from, it can seem impossible.

But research shows that the recommended 'dose' for meditation/breathing exercises is just 13 minutes a day. We probably spend longer than that waiting for a coffee to brew, or ordering stuff online!

Check out Dr Huberman's fascinating video here.

If you need some breathing exercises, I have plenty here.

I hope you find this useful, and I hope you manage to carve out that all-important 5 minutes each day. But if you sometimes don't manage to, be kind to yourself and try to understand rather than judge.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist & Author of Beyond the Blue 
Ridgewood, New Jersey

As a psychotherapist who regularly uses Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) to help people with anxiety, depression, relationship conflict, and trauma, people often ask me why EMDR works.

Here is a fascinating video from Stanford Neuroscientist Dr Andrew Huberman where he explains the interplay between EMDR and your brain - 

When you attend an EMDR therapy session, eventually (after preliminary work) we will identify target memories that relate to your current difficulties. For example, from a young age you might have formed the belief that you are ‘unsafe’ or ‘unlovable’, or you might carry around an overwhelming sense of shame or abandonment.

Focusing on a target memory, we will guide your eyes laterally (left and right, rather than vertically, up and down). This process helps to quieten your amygdala (your brain’s alarm system) in relation to that target memory, and the triggering belief or emotion. 

Why do we know this works? Because research shows that when we walk or otherwise move forward, and things move past us, this causes our eyes to move laterally, and thus quietens our amygdala. So the lateral eye movements in EMDR replicates the brain’s natural ability to quieten the amygdala.

But that is not all…

When you are triggered, or experience a threat (whether that is in the present, or a distressing memory of a past event), you might fight, flee, or freeze. In 2018 Dr Andrew Huberman carried out research into the part of the brain that is responsible for the fight response, or “forward confrontation”, and Dr Huberman explains that this part of the brain is linked to the dopamine reward pathway (and this plays a big part in us experiencing pleasure).

Faced with a threat, when we move forward in a safe way, we suppress the amygdala, and we send signals to the dopamine reward centres of our brain “to reward us for forward effort” (Dr Huberman).

So in the face of a threat, a sense of forward action will help, and that can be replicated through the use of the lateral eye movements in EMDR - the brain thinks you are moving forward, and this suppresses the fear/alarm system of the amygdala, and it also rewards you through the production of dopamine.

I hope you found this as interesting as I did! If you have any questions, get in touch. 

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist & Author of Beyond the Blue 
Ridgewood, New Jersey
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​Emotions can really get in the way of things. If we are overwhelmed with anger because we are stuck working from home and teaching our kids at the same time, the pressure might get to us so we say or do something we might regret. We might attempt to dampen these emotions with distraction or food or substances.
 
But our emotions are are also important sources of information. Sometimes we need to heed the warning signs; like the fuel light on a car, we can only ignore it for so long before that ‘running on empty’ turns into a grinding halt, where we cannot concentrate on work, we are unable to respond kindly and calmly to our kids, and our better half is packing a suitcase to go live with the inlaws. 
 
There are better ways to cope, and this is where we turn to emotion regulation. This is a big area, and you probably don’t have time to read a whole book about it, so here are just six aspects of emotion regulation. Emotion regulation can involve -

1.    Increasing present-focused emotion awareness – For example, rather than regretting the past or fearing the future, you are mindfully identifying those one-word emotions that are arising within: Anger, sadness, loneliness, or rejection, for example.
 
2.    Developing flexibility in your thoughts and assumptions – For example, are you assuming that your partner knows that you need some space to breathe, and that it would be great if they could take the kids for a run around the park? Do you then generalize this present frustration, and overlook other times, when they have been able to check in with you and find out what you need, and respond lovingly to this?
 
3.    Identify patterns of emotion avoidance – For example, you might have been raised in a household where tears were unwelcome, and so you quickly try and throw yourself into work, or a petty dispute with a friend, instead of allowing those tears to come.
 
4.    Develop awareness and tolerance of bodily sensations - Mindfully noticing and describing your bodily sensations can often serve as a bridge to emotional awareness. We may say that we are “fine”, and yet when we think of our partner, we get a tightness in our throat or our stomach.
 
5.    Gentle, gradual exposure to the things you avoid – How many times have you heard someone say “I don’t want to cry because I fear I will never stop”, or “If I let myself really feel this, I will become overwhelmed and never get out of this slump”? This is a fear-driven approach to emotions, and yet there is another way. I like to think of emotions as a wave – there is a build-up, peak, and then subside of an emotion. If we avoid that emotion when it is building up, we do not benefit from experiencing the subside of the emotion, and this experience can teach our brain that these emotions are not to be feared, and they are temporary.
 
Emotion regulation is hard if we listen to some of the myths that surround our emotions. As a psychotherapist I frequently hear these myths - 

• “It is wrong to feel these emotions, especially anger”
• “Your emotions contain no useful information”
• “Emotions prevail over thoughts”
• “You are a hostage to your emotions, so they cannot change”
• “If you succumb to your emotions, you will be overwhelmed”
• “We need to regulate all emotions”

The truth is that there is no right or wrong about your emotions, they just exist.  It is what you do with them that dictates the right or wrong of emotions, including anger.

It is important to pay attention to your emotions because they contain important information about what needs to change.  But you need to balance this information with your rational mind.

You don’t have to be a hostage to your emotions; they can change by learning about emotion regulation.  Part of this includes an awareness that emotions (given the right conditions) peak and then subside.  You don't have to become overwhelmed by them.

You can change your emotions by developing skills in emotion regulation (as set out above), but you only need to regulate the ones that are unhelpful.  This is a useful guide to what emotions are helpful and unhelpful -

• You should regulate emotions that cause more problems than benefits (you can carry out a pros and cons exercise to assess this)
• You should regulate emotions that lead you to act against your values
• You should regulate emotions that are in conflict with your goals

 
I hope you find this useful.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist in New Jersey, and author of Beyond the Blue
exploretransform.com