If you are overwhelmed by stress or anxiety, here is a quick exercise to help. The Four Elements was devised by Elan Shapiro, and I have recorded an audio version of it.  I hope you find it useful. 

If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here.

Book online today, telephone, or send us an email.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com
201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth
​

I will keep this brief because you are probably still adjusting to working online from a corner of your home, and/or home-schooling your kids.
There has never been a greater risk of burnout, so here are ten quick tips to protect your mental health.  I will produce a lengthier version later, when we all have more time.

1. It is okay to cry, scream, or just shut off for now. Your brain and body is doing what it needs to to survive this.  There is no such thing as a Superhero.
2. Forgive yourself for the substandard.  You cannot be a fantastic employee, parent, partner and friend.  See above re being a Superhero.
3. Ride the rollercoaster.  It is understandable that you will feel anxious and scared one minute, and then peaceful and even content at another time.  You are simply responding to a sudden, dramatic change to your life.
4. Know your triggers.  That might be the news, updates on social media, or friends constantly talking about the virus.  You can turn it off, or ask them to stop mentioning it.
5. Know what you can change, and make those changes.  For the unchangeable, radically accept it.  This means you need to let go and accept the new reality.
6. Keep things in proportion.  Yes, get essential supplies but don’t be an ass and deprive the vulnerable of that because you have stockpiled enough for the next decade.
7. In this brave new world the ‘rules’ are still being created.  We have to remain connected with each other, so if you once felt a little uncomfortable with Facetime or Google Hangout, give it a whirl.  And the science says that new experiences can increase the levels of dopamine (feel good stuff), so what is there to lose?!
8. Indulge yourself.  There is so much out there that is being offered for free (from Ivy League courses online, stories read by celebrities, to meditation and yoga classes).  Go grab it all now.  If nothing else, it is a healthy distraction.
9. Make self-care more palatable.  Just a little bit of self-care means we have just a little bit more energy to focus on our work and family and friends.  It is not selfish, it is strategic so we can help others.
10. Look for the kindness. Yes, there are asshole hedge funders and senators who are profiting from inside knowledge of the stock market crash, but there are plenty more kind people who are looking out for each other.  Hold onto that.

Take care, and stay connected in any way you kind.  And reach out if you need to ask any questions.  Perhaps you need some new suggestions about how to exercise self-care.  Get in touch.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
​www.exploretansform.com 

Is your mind racing, worrying about whether you have messed up at work, or offended someone, or jeopardised an important relationship?  Chances are, this is anxiety burning through your veins and keeping you up at night.

​You are not alone.  40 million people in the United States are affected by anxiety (Anxiety and Depression Association of America).

Here is another chance to ​ read my article about anxiety.  And if you need more information, I have a webpage on my website dedicated to anxiety.

Book an appointment online today.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, NJ 07450
www.exploretransform.com

​Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com              
201-779-6917              
chris@exploretransform.com​
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth

In response to the coronavirus, you do not need to leave the safety of your home to get psychotherapy sessions.  Teletherapy is available so book online today.

Teletherapy is a secure online portal, and you can choose to have these sessions using video or just audio.

Book online today.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist
www.exploretransform.com

I am going to release a message about how are psychotherapy practice will change in response to the coronavirus.  In the meantime, this pandemic has caused a heightened sense of anxiety throughout the world.  But there are things we can do to protect our emotional wellbeing.  

I know that it is important to stay up to date with any new information.  But I have mentioned in a previous post that we need to carve out time when we stop listening to the news, and we free our mind to think of something else.  Here are some suggestions -

• My personal favourite is turning on some relaxing music.  There is plenty available (for free) on Youtube and Soundcloud, and I particularly like the ones that show videos of woods or crashing waves as they play sounds of nature (waterfalls and birdsong) or spa music.
• Take note of any positives that might come out of this troubling situation.  I value the heightened sense of community spirit I have witnessed, and because the schools are closed I have savoured spending more time with my family.  And thank goodness for technology, because Facetime has been an essential way to fill the void left by the reduced interaction with my friends.
• Gather a list of self-care items (perhaps ten) and do one each day.  These are activities that would usually make you feel good if you weren't so preoccupied with the coronavirus.  These can be as simple as watching a comedy or drawing pictures, or learning a new skill (Youtube is great for learning!).
• Here are some more resources to help with anxiety, and you can find guided visualisations on my Audio Therapy page.  

Please do get in contact if you need to discuss any of your concerns.  I would like to think that I can at least point you in the right direction.  We are in this together, and together we will find a way through.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey

Ever feel drained when other people are around?  It is good to connect with others, but sometimes I just can't 'people' any more.  When the opinions and perspectives all start to collide in my head, I realise that the only solution is to shut myself away for a little.

Moments of solitude can give you space to breathe again; you can gather your thoughts, connect with your emotions, and learn how to listen to your body again.  But after a short rest, it is important to reconnect.  If we leave it too long, it will only become harder and harder to engage with the outside world again, and this can lead to social anxiety. 

To give you that big push out the door, and into the world of human connection, you just need to understand the Four Corners of Connection -
Firstly, there are four very good reasons to connect with others, and
Secondly, there are four ways to improve the quality of that human connection. 

So let's start with four good reasons to connect with others.  And there is science to back it up! –
 

• 1.  Neuroscientists have discovered that we learn more, produce more, and we are generally happier when we connect with friends and family[i].  Connecting with others develops more dimensions to our brain, and it gives our lives meaning[ii]

 

• 2.  Studies have also shown that the more we are introduced to new experiences, such as connecting with other people, the more dopamine is produced[iii].  Dopamine is basically the feel-good chemical in the brain.  We can get these new experiences by connecting with brand new people, or connecting at a deeper level with people we already know.    

 

• 3.  The production of dopamine is not guaranteed with every human connection; it depends on the quality of that interaction and your interpretation of that connection.  If you interpret the human connection as nurturing or empathic, for example, then it is likely to produce more dopamine[iv].

 

• 4.  When you connect with others, you start to understand more about yourself and others.  A great deal of this is trial and error; we make mistakes, and that can be difficult. But you need to forgive yourself for these mistakes, because they help us to understand what works and what does not.  

 
By now you are hopefully convinced that human connection is important, and that you need a bit of it now and again.  But how can we improve the quality of our human connection?   –
 

• 1.  What are your priorities?  When you interact with others, sometimes the relationship will be the priority, sometimes some sort of task, and sometimes it is your self-esteem that is the priority.  You cannot make all three of equal priority.  If you notice that there is tension or a potential for conflict with someone, one way to help is to clarify your own priorities.  Do you think it is more important to achieve a task, maintain your self-esteem, or preserve a relationship?

 

• 2.  It is all in your manner. If your priority is to preserve a relationship, you will focus more on the manner of your interaction.  For example, you are more likely to preserve a relationship if you use a calm, gentle manner, and if you demonstrate interest in, and empathy for the other person.  And it is not enough to be interested, you need to communicate that interest to the other person.

 

• 3. The reality of a power imbalance.  Be kind to yourself if there is a power imbalance, and this prevents you from achieving your goals.  For example, you are unlikely to make assertive requests of your boss every day at work.  Provided you are not the victim of an abuse of power, you may decide that human connection is less important than your job. 

 

• 4.  Emotions get in the way.  Sometimes your emotions interfere with the way you interact with others.  In another article, I have set out some advice to help you to remain in control of your emotions.  Read more here.

Want to know more?  Book an appointment today.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com

[i] Harvard Media Publishing, 2019:  Neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman

[ii] Clinical Professor of Psychiatry Dan Siegal

[iii] The Rewarding Nature of Social Interactions, Krach et al, 2010

[iv] The Rewarding Nature of Social Interactions, Krach et al, 2010

Stress, anxiety and depression often involve us focusing on someplace other than the present moment.  We long for a past that is no longer, or we fear a future that we just cannot predict.

Here is another chance to read my article called the Gift of Presence.
​
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC, Psychotherapist
www.exploretransform.com
 #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #therapy #mentalhealth  

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com              
201-779-6917              
chris@exploretransform.com​
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth

As the coronavirus spreads throughout the world, how can we tell if we are taking sensible precautions or suffering from health anxiety?  Here is a quick summary of the key differences.

You can find out more about anxiety here.  And if you need more information about how to manage your anxiety,  book an appointment online today.

​Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC, Psychotherapist
www.exploretransform.com
 #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #therapy #mentalhealth  

Beneath anger, there is often another emotion, and often an emotion that is hard to accept.  Consider the last time you were angry, and ask yourself:  What emotion was beneath this?  Was it sadness, disappointment, loneliness, or fear?  Is there a different approach, a different message we need to communicate, other than explosion of anger?

Here is another chance to​ read my article on anger management.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC, Psychotherapist
www.exploretransform.com
 #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #therapy #mentalhealth  

​Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com              
201-779-6917              
chris@exploretransform.com​
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth