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With so much change and uncertainty, it is important to find ways to keep yourself feeling grounded. You may not have control over everything in your life, but you can focus on your breathing. The Three Minute Breathing Space is a well-known Mindfulness exercise, and you can find my recording of it here. Mindfulness emphasizes the principle of non-judgmental acceptance, and this is a powerful tool to help us manage stress, anxiety, relationship conflict, and even depression. Find out more here. Chris Warren-Dickins, Psychotherapist Ridgewood, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com  As restrictions are lifted, I have been hearing about more and more relationship conflict. Partners have had differing views about what is now 'safe' (a return to school for their children, a return to restaurants, a family holiday, etc), and a mixture of excitement and apprehension has caused a number of schisms. I have been asked to re-release the '10 tips to make a relationship work', so here it is. I hope you find it useful. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com  Relationship conflict often comes down to a lack of assertiveness. You have needs, and so does your partner, and yet you fear that opening up about them may leave you sounding insensitive, needy, or downright selfish. Let's be clear: In order to maintain a deep and meaningful connection to someone else, you need to communicate your feelings and needs. Without this, you are two disconnected people living in close proximity to each other, and you will end up feeling frustrated and resentful. It is also a great deal fairer to let your partner know what you need to feel joy, and how to avoid the despair that they might trigger in you. So how can you communicate those feelings and needs? The best way is to use assertive communication. This is not always possible, and in some situations it is not even appropriate. But when it is used effectively, it creates a deeper and longer-lasting bond. Here is another chance to read my article about assertive communication. Chris Warren-Dickins, Psychotherapist Ridgewood, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com  We may have emerged from the winter, but the darkness still lingers. You can sense it in a heaviness tugging at your limbs, or the biting anger that flares, or even the blank-minded excessive eating. Depression has not melted away with the snow, and as the evenings get lighter we realize that we cannot just ignore it. Depression is not an occasional off-day. It is a persistent feeling of flattened, negative thoughts and emotions, where you experience symptoms most of the day, nearly every day, for two weeks. There are different types of depression (Major Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Persistent Depression, or Dysthymia), but no matter the type, we need to take action. When I work with people I often explain the depression cycle. This is where our thoughts are negative, and this causes our emotions to darken, which in turn stops us from doing the things we usually enjoy. The less we do, the more our thoughts become negative, and the worse our mood becomes, and so we do even less. The first step we need to take is to break the depression cycle by doing more of the things that usually would make us feel good. Even though we don't feel motivated, if you force yourself to do just one thing on that list each day, you can give your brain a new experience (one of achievement rather than avoidance). This can help to lift the mood, and make the thoughts more positive, and, in turn, you feel more inclined to do more. This is a very brief explanation of just one of the things we may explore together. Sometimes when we start to tackle the depression, we discover that there are reasons why this depression descended in the first place. For example, they may have experienced trauma, and this set a template for how they viewed the world. Trauma is more common than many people think, and it includes adverse childhood experiences such as bullying, or witnessing your parents divorce, or growing up with a caregiver who is depressed, emotionally distant, or in some other way unable to meet your needs. To find out more, get in touch today. Chris Warren-Dickins, Psychotherapist Ridgewood, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com  |
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Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor)
and author of various mental health books
(survival guides for depression, anxiety, and trauma).
Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online.
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
(prior address - 162 E Ridgewood Ave, #4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450)
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey and Maine
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
(prior address - 162 E Ridgewood Ave, #4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450)
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey and Maine
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© COPYRIGHT 2022 CHRIS WARREN-DICKINS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NJ LICENCE # 37PC00618700. ME LICENCE # MF6904