Even if you are confined to your home, there are ways you can establish freedom from within.

​This is a podcast version of the article I recently released...just in case you didn't get time to read it!

Hope you find it useful.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), New Jersey (USA) and the UK
www.exploretransform.com
+1-201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com​

Explore, Transform Psychotherapy is now accepting patients in the US (New Jersey) and UK via online therapy.

We specialize in anxiety, depression, relationship conflict, and men's therapy.  We also offer EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy) for survivors of trauma. 

Book a free online consultation today
 
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), New Jersey (USA) and the UK
www.exploretransform.com
+1-201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com​

Without awareness, food can offer the illusion of escape as much as it can become a trap. Sometimes when we are stressed, we turn to food to manage our emotions. This might be the result of habits that were formed very early in our childhood. But habits can be broken, no matter how long we have lived with them.

I have recorded a Mindfulness exercise to help you to develop awareness around your eating habits. With greater awareness, you can make informed choices about what and how you eat. You may even end up enjoying the food a little more! 
 
If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here.
 
Book online today, telephone, or send us an email.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com
201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com​
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth

You are doing a brilliant thing by staying home; you are saving lives. But knowing this does not help when you crave for human connection.  We are built to socialize, and some days can seem so very long. 

We need to keep connected to others, so it is great that we have our phones.  But plain old conversations can quickly run dry.  We are all pretty much in it together, so our experiences overlap; once we have established which Netflix series we have caught up on, and which home-baked recipe we have tried (and failed at), there isn’t much more to say.  There is a danger that we will bore the pants off each other (assuming we are wearing pants…and the likelihood is, we aren’t).

So let’s try and establish a new way of connecting with each other.  We need to include faces and voices in our connection because these give us the richness of variation.  Without a face and a voice, how can we watch for facial cues, and how can we hear the nuances in different tones of voice.  There are so many shades of emotion that can be expressed in a simple ‘Hello’.

So we need things like Zoom and Facetime and Google Hangout.  But once we are on there, staring at each other, ready to hear what is on offer, what then?  Here are some ideas –

• Go get your game on.  Adults need to release their playful sides.  It isn’t all about the kids.  The looser we are with rules, the less we will feel confined by our stay-at-home circumstances.  Dr. Bessel van der Kolk has a Facebook page with a whole list of adult games that we can play - https://www.facebook.com/thebodykeepsthescore/  
• Go old school.  Remember when we once played board games? Why not do it via Zoom? My favorites are Trivial Pursuits and Monopoly (and as a child I was very competitive, occasionally flipping the board when things did not go my way.  I was the original Teresa Giudice).
• Go storyboard, don’t get bored. Use some of your right-brain and get creative with a bit of storytelling.  My go-to story is when I got lost on Harriman Mountain, and a policeman carried me across a river. (True story.) If nothing else, it can create a talking point. 
• Go move and dance. I have mentioned in another article how important movement is for our emotional and physical wellbeing.  Our natural reaction to stress is to want to move (this is our fight or flight response, otherwise known as our sympathetic nervous system).  We need to expel that energy by moving, so use our interaction to share a dance together.  I love Yogobe, and you can find their exercises here https://youtu.be/Y6FulUWtzWU .  Share a laugh with others about how ridiculous you all look.
• Go embrace your hood.  My heart has glowed as I have witnessed neighborhoods coming together to bang pots and pans to help the essential workers, and there have even been reports of neighbors singing together.  Let’s embrace our community and sing or dance for a little (while maintaining a safe distance, of course).

Glazing over the cracks
We are dealing with so much right now, that our eyes are bound to glaze over.  Other people have called this ‘numbing out’, and it is a survival instinct.  If we tried to process everything that we are experiencing, we might become overwhelmed.  So, in a way, it helps us.  But it only helps in the short-term. 

Eventually, we need to shake ourselves free and become aware of the present moment.  To help with this, start gently.  Just notice your breathing, and then widen your attention to different parts of your body.  Eventually, you will be able to widen your attention to your surroundings and start to become aware of more and more of the present moment.

There are mindfulness exercises to help with this ability to just ‘notice’.  And the key thing is to just notice without judging yourself.  Just accept your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.  On my Audio Therapy page, you will find lots of free mindfulness exercises.  https://www.exploretransform.com/audio-therapy.html

Another therapist, Licia Sky, also offers free online resources, and here is a link to just one of her offerings called Widening the Walls of Perception: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-I2uR6Axq0 
Let me know if you have found others that you prefer.  We are all in this together!

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), New Jersey (USA) and the UK
www.exploretransform.com
201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com​

Confined to your home, you are bound to feel a little stir-crazy. Piled on top of that, if your home-life contains endless conflict, you can end up feeling like there is no escape. Your instinct is to flee, which is your fight or flight response (your sympathetic nervous system), as primal as the stone-cold cave. But physical escape is not an option.

​Instead, you need to find ways to establish freedom from within.  One way to do this is to move your body.  Physical movement and deep breathing can activate your ‘rest and digest’ system (the parasympathetic nervous system), and you can start to feel freer, and more in control. 

At the moment, you may not think there are many opportunities for movement, but there are more than you realise. Start with some of these free exercises, and let me know if you need more –

• Therapist Licia Sky offers free online events where you can use movement to heal.  Here is one of her events via the Trauma Research Foundation’s Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-I2uR6Axq0

 

• Yogobe offers free trauma-informed yoga - https://youtu.be/Y6FulUWtzWU

 

• I offer free grounding, mindfulness, and deep breathing exercises including Progressive Relaxation, The Four Elements, Three Minute Breathing Space, and Loving Kindness Meditation, all on the Audio Therapy page of my website -https://www.exploretransform.com/audio-therapy.html

I know it is not a great situation to be confined at home, but I hope you get at least some relief from these suggestions.
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com
201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com​

To manage anxiety, you need to believe in your inner resources. To believe in your inner resources, you need to become aware of, and accept, your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.
​
To help with this, there is a mindfulness exercise called the Body Scan. During this exercise, as you scan your body, you become aware of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. A key component of mindfulness is acceptance:

1.  You accept the thoughts that arise
2.  You accept the emotions that you are aware of, and
3.  You accept the bodily sensations that you notice

You do not have to do anything about the thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, just notice them and accept them without judgment. The idea is that the more we judge, or try to reject unwanted thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, the more power we give them. Sometimes if we just notice them, the thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations can peak and then subside.

I have recorded an audio version of the Body Scan, so have a listen and see what comes up. 

With a little practice, you will become aware of, and accept, your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. And in time, this will give you the resilience to manage your anxiety.

To find out more about anxiety, check out my additional free resources here. https://www.exploretransform.com/help-for-anxiety.html

Book online today, telephone, or send us an email.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com
201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com​
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth

Relationships can endure pressure, and sometimes the pressure builds so much that they are fractured. If this has happened to your personal or work relationship, here are a few steps to take -

1. Decide if you need or want to repair this relationship. If you weigh up the pros and cons of having this person in your life, you may realise that it is not worth continuing with the relationship.

2. Assuming you want to keep this person in your life, or you have no choice, you need to figure out how to repair that relationship. This can be hard if someone has hurt you, or you believe that they have wronged you. You need to develop compassion for this person, and one way is to try and empathise with how they may have viewed the situation. Try and understand why they may have behaved in such a way. You don't have to agree with someone to empathise with, and understand where they are coming from.

3. Even if you can understand where someone is coming from, it can be hard to truly repair the relationship. The final, and most essential, step is to develop compassion for that person. To develop this compassion, there is a mindfulness exercise called the Loving Kindness Meditation. This encourages you to hold the image of the person in your heart, as if a parent were holding their child. This often takes time to master, but it is worth it. I have recorded an audio version of it, so you can listen to it whenever you like.

I hope you find this useful.
 
If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here.
 
Book online today, telephone, or send us an email.
​
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey
www.exploretransform.com
201-779-6917
chris@exploretransform.com
#findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth