She was suicidal. She believed she had no one else to turn to, so she used an AI mental health app. At first, she was encouraged by the responses. They seemed welcoming, supportive, gentle, even. But then things got weird. The responses focused on self-harm, pushing her further into the topic, and eventually it was encouraging her to find ways to self-harm without her friends or family finding out. In the end, it pushed her over the edge, and she died by suicide.
 
This kind of story is becoming all too familiar. A quick fix like AI can seem appealing, until you realize that we are in the early days when many people do not know what it entails. When you or your loved one are feeling vulnerable, the last thing you should do is take risks. And yet AI mental healthcare could not be riskier when it is unregulated, untested, and prone to manipulation.  
 
Human mental health professionals spend years learning how to support people who are in crisis, and they offer the quality of connection that cannot be replicated by AI. Two of the most important aspects of psychotherapy are empathy and trust, and that can only occur between two sentient beings.
 
Research shows that the presence of a safe and calm human being is one of the most effective ways to regulate our emotions. We are hard-wired to connect to other human beings, through eye contact, facial expressions, vocal toning, and movement. Just think of the very first moments of a newborn baby’s life, when they are rocked as the parent smiles and offers soothing sounds. There is something intrinsic to our nature about this, something that could never be artificially replicated.
 
As I read about the rapid evolution of AI, and the lack of regulation, I think of my grandparents and how they would happily smoke around their grandchildren. They didn’t mean us harm, they just didn’t know about the dangers posed by passive smoking. The same can be said about AI. When it comes to the most vulnerable moments of your life, especially when you are in crisis, take care to trust in the long-established approach of support from an experienced and licensed human being.

If you need to discuss any of this, please contact me. 
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey

Truly honored to get a mention in this weekly non-fiction reading list. Thank you to Chris Boutté of The Rewired Soul.

You can read his full review of Beyond Your Confines here, and I have set out an extract below - 
“This is one of the better mental health books I’ve read in a while. Chris Warren-Dickins seems like a great therapist, and he was able to pack a ton in this short book, and I think it’d be hard to find anyone who wouldn’t benefit from this book…

I think one of the best aspects of this book is that the author discusses how wealth disparities, being a minority and other difficult life circumstances can affect our mental health differently. He also discusses how it’s important to recognize one’s privilege and how it’ll make your circumstances differ from others. It’s a fantastic book all around, and I definitely recommend it.“

Chris Warren-Dickins
Author & Psychotherapist

More and more people are experiencing burnout. I do not need to point to the contributing factors, you just have to turn on the news, but I do need to point out the significance of burnout to the way your brain functions.
 
You can recognize burnout via a whole range of symptoms, and these are just some for you to think about: An apathy for the things that you once cared about, a sense of exhaustion, and an overall negative outlook.
 
Why you should care about burnout
There is a worrying trend amongst some to wear burnout as a badge of honor. They confuse the terms ‘grit and resilience’ with ‘burnout’, and so they shut off the warning signs that tell you that you need to rest. Eventually, you will cause harm to your mind and body, and ultimately this has a negative impact on all the things that you hold dear.
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Burnout should be taken more seriously because research shows that it can thin the gray matter of your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that is responsible for important functions such as reasoning and decision-making), and it can enlarge the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system). As a result, our alarm system goes into overdrive, sensing threat when there is none, and we are less able to mediate this heightened state with cool, calming reason.

When our amygdala is in overdrive, this activates the sympathetic nervous system, our ‘fight-or-flight’ response, and this can lead to excess production of cortisol (the stress hormone). There is plenty of research to show the health implications for excessive cortisol levels, including increased blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease.
 
What you can do
Any attempts to calm the amygdala will help to reduce burnout. This can be tackled on a couple of different fronts – your body, by activating your parasympathetic nervous system (your natural rest and digest state), and your thought process, by challenging the short-circuited thought patterns that lead to these heightened states of stress.

In terms of your parasympathetic nervous system, you can activate this through various different methods, including simple breathing exercises or calming visualizations. I have set out some exercises on this page, so try each and start to repeat (on a daily basis) the ones you enjoy.

In terms of your short-circuited thought patterns, try to watch for assumptions or beliefs that might trigger the amygdala. For example, you have been working late and you see your boss talking to HR. By assuming that they are talking about you, you are personalizing the situations and jumping to conclusions. They could be talking about a whole range of issues other than you. You are also catastrophizing, because even if they are talking about you, you are assuming it will lead to something bad, such as losing your job. You need to calm your mind by looking for evidence against this, such as a recent positive performance review, or the fact that the Great Resignation has left companies currently desperate to keep their employees.

A key component to all of this is to adopt a compassionate tone to your self-talk. Throughout my years as a psychotherapist, I have found this to be one of the most underrated factors in recovery from burnout. When we judge ourselves, we end up feeling even more alienated, and this serves to worsen the symptoms of burnout. The first step to recovery is to recognize how much pressure we have been experiencing, and adopt a kind, compassionate voice, talking to ourselves as if we were talking to a young child. When we can direct compassion inwards, we are in a better position to then direct that compassion outwards, and learn to connect with, and help, other people. There is no better antidote to the cynicism and apathy that burnout can create than recognizing some sort of good that we have thrown out into this challenging world.

Take control of your mental health and book online for a free initial discussion about burnout.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins 
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey

No one wants to think that their loved one might become depressed, but it is better to have the tools ready, just in case, than be caught unaware. Here are three of my favorite -
 
ONE – KNOWING THEY ARE NOT ALONE
 
Research shows that if someone has at least one supportive person in their life, the impact of depression is considerably reduced.

Your support, reminding them that they are not alone, is crucial for your loved one.
And when you offer that support, your choice of words is important. You want to acknowledge your loved one’s pain, showing them you are meeting them where they are, without any attempt to reduce its significance or dismiss their feelings.

Handy phrases include:
“I hear you, and I am here when you are ready for me.”
“That sounds big and overwhelming, and we can look at it together when you want to.”
“I see how hard this is for you. What do you need from me right now?”
 
TWO – MINDFULNESS
 
There is plenty of research to show that mindfulness can help with a wide range of mental health conditions. But sometimes mindfulness can appear complicated. Help your loved one to learn about mindfulness by following the simple steps set out below:
 
In his book Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat Zinn describes mindfulness as the practice of "non-doing" and "letting go." When you adopt a mindful approach, you simply become aware of what is going on, without trying to change it, interpret it, or consider how it affects you…
 
Step 1 – Notice one thing at a time. It could be the dripping tap or the swaying breeze, or even just the tempo of each breath.
Step 2 – Really notice your internal and external states, including the colors and textures, and how that makes you feel.
Step 3 – Any time you feel hijacked by an intense feeling or thought, redirect your attention to your breathing.
Step 4 – Adopt mindfulness even in the most basic of activities, including doing your homework, tidying your room, playing with your friends, or going for a walk.
 
THREE – THERE ARE BETTER DAYS
 
Depression can feel overwhelming, especially when you feel that it is never going to end. So your job is to keep reminding your loved one that there will be better days.

Reminding your loved one about the temporary nature of depression is crucial.
I sometimes like the analogy of surfing a wave, and this can be helpful for depression or anxiety:
First, there is a build-up, when things start to get intense.
Then there is a peak, when things are at the most intense. Imagine you are at the top of the wave.
Finally, the intensity starts to subside, as you would slide down the other side of a wave. And things start to improve. You remember the things you once enjoyed, and you get pleasure out of those things again.
 
I hope you found this useful. I would love to hear your thoughts. Get in contact here, or book online for a free call back.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey

“The autonomic nervous system influences the heart, and this shows on your face, which has an impact on your social engagement. If others feel safe and calm, this often leads to you feeling safe and calm. This is referred to as co-regulation. When you have been co-regulating, you might have noticed that you have a softened tone to your voice or more relaxed facial expressions. You might even have noticed a slower heart rate. In this state, you might have felt more open, willing, and compassionate to yourself and others.”
 
Beyond Your Confines: The Workbook is available in paperback and ebook format.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey