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At long last, developments in neuroscience have led to the exciting moment when I can finally justify the use of my awful pun-type jokes. So here goes... 'Hair' is the proof that regular meditation or mindfulness can actually lower your cortisol levels: In this research paper, cortisol levels were measured in hair samples taken from people engaged in a course of meditation. The research showed that the cortisol levels lowered the longer they engaged in the meditation. Cortisol is the stress hormone, and research shows that high cortisol levels can cause problems with one's thyroid function, decreased bone density, increased abdominal fat, and higher blood pressure. You heard it hear first: Cortisol is the new smoking. Remember when planes and restaurants and even shops allowed smoking? Think of all that harm we were being exposed to? In years to come, future generations will look at us and wonder how we could survive without any meditation and mindfulness, allowing so much cortisol to build up. On the Audio Therapy page I have set out some easy opportunities to engage in meditation and mindfulness. There are plenty more available on Youtube, Spotify, and other forums. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) Ridgewood, New Jersey  We hurt the ones we love. It is inevitable that proximity to our loved ones can create flashpoints of anger and conflict. But the pandemic only intensified these daily pressures. We had to homeschool our kids, we could not see our friends, and there was nowhere to go to escape the daily grind. As things start to open up, we expect all the anger and conflict to just melt like thawing snow. But it takes a little more work than that. To truly get beyond anger and conflict, we need a quick reminder of the essential ingredients to a healthy, balanced relationship. I am sure you have your own ideas about what those might be, but here are some that most therapists would agree are essential - 1. Trust. I have already explored trust in detail, so if you need to read more about this, have a look at my previous article. 2. Assertiveness. In this article I set out how to identify assertiveness, and when a lack of assertiveness becomes a problem in a relationship. 3. Vulnerability. In this article I look at how shame can hold us back when we try to become vulnerable in a relationship. 4. The absence of abuse (in all its forms, including physical, emotional, sexual, and financial). In another article I set out how to identify abuse, and what to do about it. Attachment styles The ideal relationship involves what is called secure attachment. Basically this is a healthy balance of independence and intimacy. If you are anxiously attached, you tend to crave intimacy at the expense of independence. For example, you text or call too much, and you demand too much from the people in your relationships. If you tend to be avoidant in your relationships, you favor independence at the expense of intimacy. For example, you might disclose less, or make less contact with people in your life. If you find yourself slipping into the avoidant attachment style, try to identify how you might 'move towards' the people you care about. Can you share more, or make contact more often? In contrast, if you tend to be anxiously attached to others, is there a way you can decrease the frequency or intensity of your interactions? A balancing act As with all therapy, it is a matter of striking a balance, so you can achieve more of a secure attachment style (respecting independence and intimacy). To do this, are there any role models in your life who seem to demonstrate a more healthy, balanced, and secure attachment style in their relationships? Even if you know of no one, you can look to your therapist as a starting point. So what do you think? Does any of this resonate with you? Get in touch by sending me a message so you can explore this further. I would love to hear from you. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor)  When you are a survivor of trauma, you can experience a dizzying dichotomy of feeling too much, and then feeling too little. When you feel too much, your nerves are on fire, and every dropped spoon on a plate is like someone has smashed into you with a ten-ton truck. And then, just as clearly, you feel nothing at all; your body feels numb, or your mind is blank. If people don’t know about your trauma, they can interpret your blank stare as being deliberately unfriendly or aloof, and if you have encountered professionals who are not experienced with trauma, it is likely that your trauma remained undetected. But there is hope. Even though trauma is exceptionally hard to manage without the aid of professional help, there are survival tools that can lessen the impact of your trauma. Find out more today. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) Ridgewood, New Jersey  Heartbroken to hear of the death of Dr Aaron T. Beck. It is not for everyone and all issues, but so many have benefited from Cognitive Therapy. Thank you, Dr Aaron T. Beck. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, writer, educator, and LGBTQ+ advocate |
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Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor)
Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online.
Our registered office is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey
Our registered office is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey
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