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Dealing with Powerlessness: A Therapist’s Guide to Regaining Control

1/28/2025

 
We all experience moments of powerlessness. Whether it’s dealing with an overwhelming work situation, feeling stuck in a relationship, or navigating a global crisis, the sensation of being out of control can be disorienting and emotionally draining. As a therapist working with individuals in New Jersey, I often hear clients express frustration over not being able to change circumstances that seem beyond their reach. It's natural to feel disempowered at times—but the good news is, there are practical ways to regain a sense of agency and self-efficacy, even when life feels unmanageable.
​
Here are some tips for navigating and managing feelings of powerlessness:
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1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in dealing with powerlessness is acknowledging it. Often, we try to push away or deny negative emotions because they feel uncomfortable. However, avoiding or suppressing feelings of powerlessness can actually prolong or intensify them. Instead, allow yourself to sit with those feelings without judgment. By naming your emotions (e.g., "I feel helpless right now" or "I'm overwhelmed by this situation"), you can begin to understand them and give yourself permission to feel vulnerable. This is a form of self-compassion.

2. Focus on What You Can Control
When we feel powerless, our attention tends to gravitate toward everything we can't change: the global economy, the behavior of others, or the course of events beyond our influence. The antidote to this overwhelm is to refocus on what is within your control. Make a list of small, manageable things you can do today that will give you a sense of agency. It might be something as simple as organizing your workspace, making a healthy meal, or having a difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding. Small actions often lead to a renewed sense of power and control.

3. Set Realistic Boundaries
In times of powerlessness, people sometimes overextend themselves, trying to fix things for others or take on too much responsibility. If you’ve been feeling powerless, take a step back and evaluate your boundaries. Are you saying yes to too many obligations? Are there people or situations that are draining your energy and contributing to your sense of powerlessness? Setting healthy boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s essential for preserving your emotional and mental health. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a powerful tool when it comes to managing feelings of powerlessness. It allows you to center yourself in the present moment, which can reduce feelings of anxiety and helplessness. By practicing mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, body scans, or grounding exercises, you can detach from overwhelming thoughts and redirect your focus on what is in front of you. Studies show that mindfulness practices not only improve emotional regulation but can also help you increase your sense of self-efficacy and control.

5. Challenge Negative Thinking
Powerlessness often goes hand-in-hand with negative thinking patterns, such as catastrophizing (expecting the worst), all-or-nothing thinking (seeing situations as either completely good or bad), or overgeneralization (assuming one setback means constant failure). These cognitive distortions can fuel feelings of helplessness and prevent you from seeing potential solutions or avenues for change. One way to challenge these thoughts is by asking yourself:
  • “Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?”
  • “What would I tell a friend who was having these thoughts?”
  • “Is there evidence to suggest this situation isn’t as dire as I feel?”
Changing your internal narrative can help reduce emotional distress and open the door to problem-solving.

6. Seek Support
When you’re feeling powerless, it can be easy to isolate yourself from others. However, human connection is one of the most powerful ways to regain a sense of empowerment. Talk to trusted friends or family members about your feelings. Sometimes, simply verbalizing your experience can bring clarity and reassurance. If you’re struggling with more persistent feelings of powerlessness, or if your emotional health is suffering, speaking with a therapist can provide you with tailored coping strategies and emotional support. Therapy is a space where you can work through these difficult emotions and build resilience.

7. Reframe Your Perspective
In therapy, we often use the concept of reframing to help individuals shift their perspective on a challenging situation. If you’re feeling powerless, try to reframe the situation in a way that empowers you. For example, instead of seeing an unexpected setback as a failure, consider it an opportunity for growth or a lesson learned. Reframing doesn’t minimize the difficulty of the situation, but it helps you focus on your strengths and the potential for positive change.

8. Engage in Activities That Restore Energy
When we feel powerless, our energy can feel drained, both physically and emotionally. Make time for activities that help replenish you. Whether it’s exercising, engaging in a hobby, spending time in nature, or simply resting, taking time to restore your energy can help you regain a sense of balance and renewal. Remember, self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity when you’re feeling disempowered.

9. Revisit Your Values and Purpose
Feeling powerless often comes from a disconnect between our current circumstances and our deeper sense of purpose. Reflect on what matters most to you in life. What are your core values? What are you passionate about? Sometimes, reconnecting with your values and your "why" can help you move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and control. Even if external circumstances haven’t changed, knowing that you are living in alignment with your values can provide you with strength and clarity.

10. Accept What You Can’t Change
Finally, it’s important to recognize that there are some things you cannot change. Accepting this reality doesn’t mean giving up—it means freeing yourself from the emotional drain of trying to control the uncontrollable. Accepting what is outside your control allows you to focus on what you can influence, while also giving you the space to emotionally process situations that are out of your hands.

Conclusion
Feeling powerless is an incredibly human experience, and it’s something we all go through at different points in our lives. However, with the right strategies and mindset, you can navigate these feelings and regain a sense of control. Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Whether through self-reflection, mindfulness, boundary-setting, or seeking professional support, you can reclaim your power and create a more resilient, balanced life.

If you’re in New Jersey and looking for additional support, we are here to help. Book online for a free telephone call with our lead clinician, Chris Warren-Dickins.
Together, we can explore ways to restore balance and regain a sense of agency in your life.

Explore Transform Counseling & Psychotherapy
Ridgewood, New Jersey


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Counseling & Psychotherapy in Ridgewood, New Jersey
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Psychotherapy in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Covering Bergen County, Essex County, Morris County, Hudson County, Middlesex County, Sussex County, Passaic County, Union County, Somerset County, Warren County, Cumberland County, Hunterdon County, Ocean County, Atlantic County, Salem County, Gloucester County, Mercer County, Cape May County, Camden County, Burlington County, and Monmouth County.

Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online. ​
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450

Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Lead clinician: Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
​EXPLORE TRANSFORM LLC
© COPYRIGHT 2025 CHRIS WARREN-DICKINS.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  NJ LICENCE # 37PC00618700
  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • TESTIMONIALS
  • CONTACT YOUR THERAPIST
  • FEES
  • BURNOUT
  • LONELINESS
  • POWERLESSNESS
  • EMDR & TRAUMA
  • BOOK ONLINE
  • CLINICAL CONSULTATION
  • CONTINUING EDUCATION FOR CLINICIANS
  • FREE RESOURCES
  • BLOG