Depression - 10 top tips

Depression is far from simple, but we all need a starting point.  Perhaps this list of 10 top tips will help you to start a dialogue with someone.  Because talking can really help.

1. Depression as a cycle:  We have negative thoughts and this causes a low mood, and this means we feel less willing to engage in activities, and this only serves to worsen our mood and increase our negative thoughts.  To break the cycle, focus on activities that might once have brought you happiness.  Try to achieve at least one of those a day, and steadily increase the number
2. Depression is rarely caused by just one factor alone.  Try to brainstorm as many reasons why you may be depressed, so that you know all the areas to focus on
3. Depression tricks us into believing that we are defective.  Find a kinder voice to congratulate yourself for the things you do well.  And don’t dismiss the good points, even if they seem small or insignificant
4. Depression makes us assume that a negative outcome will occur.  Do you know that for sure? Is it worth having a go, just in case you achieve a positive outcome?
5. Perfectionism fuels depression, the mistaken belief that we cannot do anything unless we do it perfectly. Challenge perfectionism with the belief that we can learn from mistakes. And no one is perfect
6. Depression is also fuelled by the idea that life should be a certain way, and others should be a certain way, and even I should be a certain way.  Try to replace ‘I should’ with ‘I would like this, but I need to be realistic about my expectations’
7. Some find mindfulness useful.  The emphasis here is on letting go, on remaining firmly in the present without worrying about the future, or regretting the past
8. Depression often leads us to label ourselves (for example, a ‘failure’).  None of us fall within any particular label, we are far too complicated for that!  Labelling also rules out the hope that we might change.  There is rarely the need to lose hope that we can learn how to adapt, given the right opportunity or resources
9. Depression often makes us personalise a situation.  For example, if something goes wrong (a relationship fails, or a work issue develops), we blame ourselves.  Instead, try to look at the situation as the multi-faceted issue that it is likely to be.  It is rare that there is just one factor causing the situation
10. Depression can be made worse by living strictly by certain ‘rules’ (for example, I can never show emotion in public, or I can never make mistakes).  Are these rules useful, or are they simply a trap for us?

Chris Warren-Dickins is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgewood, New Jersey.  He specializes in psychotherapy for couples, adolescents, men, and the LGBTQ+ community. 
Sessions are available in-person at 162 E Ridgewood Ave, Ridgewood NJ 07451, or via the internet or telephone. Book a consultation today www.exploretransform.com

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