UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS
  • HOME
  • EMDR THERAPY
  • MEN'S THERAPY
  • AFFIRMATIVE LGBTQ THERAPY
  • Audio therapy
  • CONTACT YOUR THERAPIST
  • ABOUT
  • FEES & INSURANCE
  • BLOG
Picture
Book an Appointment
LEARN MORE

Discover your true Self

2/2/2020

 
Have you ever found yourself doing things that are harmful, and yet you keep doing them?  No matter how hard you struggle, there are parts of you that keep acting in a certain way; for example, your anger gets the better of you, or you get drunk yet again, or you cheat on your partner, or you spend weeks working late when you don't really need to.

You know the logic:  This behaviour is going to cause you problems.  Ordinarily, you would not choose to do this.  And yet a part of you continues to act in this way.

The part of you that continues this behaviour is like an errant family member.  You wish they would stop disrupting family gatherings, but they continue to do so.  And yet, you have to continue to live together as one big family.  

One solution is to try and understand why this family member acts in such a way.  The same can be said of the part of you that keeps exploding in anger, getting drunk, or doing other things that you don't want to do.  If we dig a little deeper, we will probably find a reason for this behaviour.  If we adopt this more understanding approach, we might be able to win over this errant part of us, as we might try to win over the errant family member.  For example, we might come to understand that this part of us overeats because it soothes us when we are anxious.  Or we might come to understand that the part of us that gets drunk is trying to numb the pain that we fear might overwhelm us. 

When we adopt a more compassionate approach, we see that these parts might have actually been trying to protect us.  And when we approach these parts in a compassionate manner, they might see that it is now not effective to continue behaving in this way.  In fact, we might be causing more harm to continue in this way.

This is an approach to psychotherapy called Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), and an IFS therapist will help you to communicate with these protective parts.  The therapist will help you to get the parts to relax so that they can work out a more helpful way to respond to problems.  The most effective way to do this is to access what is called the Self; a compassionate, calmer and confident version of you.  The Self comprises eight elements -
  1. Curiosity
  2. Calm
  3. Confidence
  4. Connectedness
  5. Clarity
  6. Creativity
  7. Courage
  8. Compassion

When you let the Self lead the way, you develop a calm, compassionate way of viewing your life.  In time, you find that you can heal yourself, and ultimately make smarter choices.

If you would like to find out more about how psychotherapy can help with your life choices, get in touch.  Book your free initial telephone call online today.

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist

www.exploretransform.com
Book online today
Picture

Comments are closed.

    Therapy Blog


    Book online
    LEARN MORE

    Picture
    Subscribe in a reader

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    October 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
​Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor)
and author of various mental health books 
​(survival guides for depression, anxiety, and trauma).

Book an Appointment

Please note - We are not accepting new clients at this time

LEARN MORE
Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online. 
​
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
​(prior address - 162 E Ridgewood Ave, #4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450)

Telephone: +1-201-779-6917

Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey and Maine
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture

© COPYRIGHT 2023 CHRIS WARREN-DICKINS.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  NJ LICENCE # 37PC00618700. ME LICENCE # MF6904
  • HOME
  • EMDR THERAPY
  • MEN'S THERAPY
  • AFFIRMATIVE LGBTQ THERAPY
  • Audio therapy
  • CONTACT YOUR THERAPIST
  • ABOUT
  • FEES & INSURANCE
  • BLOG