It's self-care, silly!

There appears to be so much vitriol in the political world, reflected (and reinforced?) in the media.  Am I imagining it, or does it seem worse than before?  I remember my parents saying a similar thing when they were in their 40s, so perhaps it is because I am also now in my 40s that I have this view.  Perhaps.  But it just feels like every time I turn on the news I feel desperate that people are tearing each other apart. It is easy to forget that there are human beings beneath these caricatures who are paraded on our every screen.  I hope that the politicians and the people in the media are looking after themselves, that they know at least one or two ways to practice self-care. 

But perhaps even writing about self-care makes these politicians and people in the media turn off.  Perhaps they glaze over at the word ‘care’ because it is seen as a weakness, and they might fall victim to an attack from their opponent. 

So let’s try and reframe some of the ideas about self-care so that it is seen as a competitive advantage rather than a weakness –

• “Self-care is a weakness.”  This can be reframed to:  In order to defeat your opponent, you need a firm footing.  If you have not taken the time to look after yourself, you will be easily knocked over on the first punch
• “Self-care is selfish.”  Your parents probably taught you this, and they were probably taught that also.  Perhaps they are scared of introspection, or they believe that endless giving is the way forward.  More power to them but in reality we cannot help others if we are depleted of all resources.  Think of the safety announcement in an airplane:  Put your own oxygen mask on first before you try to help someone else. 
• “I haven’t the time for self-care.”  This can be reframed to:  It can be incorporated into daily routine.  For example, a simple mindfulness exercise, like the 3 minute breathing space is just 3 little minutes.  And you can incorporate it into any daily routine, including washing your hands, walking round the supermarket, or waiting for your kids to finish soccer.  I’ll set out the 3 minute breathing space at the bottom of this article.
• “How much self-care can really be achieved in 3 little minutes?”  If you can afford three times that amount of time, try Jon Kabat-Zinn’s 9 minute walking meditation.  It can be incorporated into any walk you have to engage in.  Even a short walk to the café is better than nothing.  Check out the walking meditation here:  https://www.mindful.org/walking-meditation/
• “Self-care is just about meditation, and I am not into that wacky stuff.”  Self-care incorporates a whole range of activities, and you can choose whatever floats your boat.  This can include (as well as meditation):  Exercise, listening to music, engaging in all the senses (smell, sight, sound, touch, taste), moments of silence, gardening, reading, prayer, etc etc etc

​So if someone says self-care is silly, you can offer the following spin on ‘S-I-L-L-Y’ –

Self-care
Is
Like
Loving
Yourself

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Chris Warren-Dickins LPC , Licensed Professional Counselor with an office in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Sessions are also available online

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