Monday's weekly roundup

If you missed the last seven days of posts from me, here is another chance to read about the following topics:
 

• Loving kindness - Too often we pass each other by without an acknowledgement of the whole person we interact with.  We view each other as a means to some sort of end, and we forget that we are all united by a basic need to be loved.  I use the term 'love' simply to mean appreciated, or acknowledged for the whole person we are.  Set aside time now and again to practice what is known as 'Loving Kindness'.
• The physical and emotional entwined - To live with a physical condition can have a significant impact on your emotional wellbeing, and if someone’s emotional wellbeing is suffering, this can often have an adverse impact on the way that they take care of their physical health.
• Anxiety:  break the chain - Anxiety thrives on this link:  Self-worth and achievement.  The more you feel you have to achieve, the more anxious you get when things don’t go according to plan.  You may feel that you perform well by placing yourself under this pressure, and a little pressure is fine, but what happens when there is too much pressure?  We break.  Here are some of the ways you can break this chain
• We should normalise the concept of seeking help - it is a sign of strength - A while back I was interviewed by Wandsworth Radio to discuss Men's Health Week (here is a link to the interview: http://www.wandsworthradio.com/show/wandsworth-tonight/ ).  
  During this discussion I mentioned this: “Women seek help — men die” (Jules Angst and Celile Ernst).  This is a blunt way of summarising the statistic that suicide is the single biggest cause of death in men aged 20 to 45 (in the UK there are 3.5 male suicides for every 1 female suicide).  To seek help, to share the burden, implies that we are admitting defeat, and that we do not have the strength.  “We are less of a man.”
• Relationships and the 'tyranny of shoulds' - Wedding buzz killed off by living under a tyranny of ‘shoulds’?  Relationships often transform once the initial excitement has subsided.  You can be left with a bitter aftertaste if you expect life, and everyone living in it, to be a certain way.  This is known as the 'tyranny of shoulds':  He should think about my feelings before he stays out late.  She should know that I need time to myself.
• Three minute breathing space - In our busy lives we often forget the present moment.  We lose touch with what our thoughts, feelings and sensations might be telling us, and they might be telling us that something needs to change
• What is counselling? - It is a safe space to explore your experiences.  You cannot change what you are not fully aware of, but it can be difficult to gain this awareness on your own.  Working with a supportive counsellor, you will have the opportunity to really look at your life, and assess what needs to change.  Once you are clear about what needs to change, you can then use the supportive counselling relationship to work through that change, making sure that it is really what you want, and if it is, to ensure that the change is sustainable.

Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor
E:  chris@exploretransform.com
T:  07816681154
W: www.exploretransform.com