Parental Burnout and Your Inner Voice

From a young age, you have been taught to put others first. Think of others, be a team player, don't be selfish. You've heard it all, and these not-so-subtle messages can shape your inner voice when you become a parent. You believe that you should sacrifice your own needs for the sake of your children, and if you experience the beginnings of burnout, then just ignore them and power on.
 
The reality is that mental health is about balance. Yes, it would help if you prioritized the needs of your children but unfortunately, you need to find a balance between their needs and your own. This can prevent burnout, and it can also teach them a sustainable way to live in the world. After all, if they see you neglecting your own needs, they might do this in friendship groups or later on in life, in their careers or relationships.
 
Fall is a beautiful time of year when it comes to the color of the leaves, but it can be an ugly time for parental burnout. In my psychotherapy practice, I hear more and more stories about the stress parents are under. Some of it is a symptom of the changing landscape. After all, we never grew up with AI and social media. But some of it is because of this selfless inner voice that we have been given by our parents. So if you are reading this, take this as permission to look for a balance between meeting the needs of your children and your own needs. Don't delay by carving out some self-care time, and regularly. You will find several free resources on this page that you can use during that self-care time. These include mindfulness, grounding, and breathing exercises.
 
If you think you might be experiencing burnout, here is a quick reminder of some of the symptoms:

You feel exhausted and restless.
You feel apathetic about the things that you used to feel energized about.
You have had trouble sleeping, or you have been sleeping too much.
You have been thinking about walking out on a job or a personal situation, even though you know this might make things worse.
You have been feeling helpless in a situation at work or home.
You have been breathless, short of breath, or dizzy.
You feel that no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to keep up with your demands.
You have been more irritable and angrier of late.
You have become cynical and unable to find any positive side to things.
You have been less able to concentrate at work or in your relationships.
 
If you have any questions about parental burnout, please reach out to me.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey