Self-esteem: How to break free of your self-imposed constraints

When people struggle with self-esteem, their minds become hijacked with thoughts and emotions about how they should change. Mindfulness offers a useful antidote to this tendency. When you practice mindfulness, you simply notice what is, without trying to change things. This is a skill that is becoming less and less common in this modern age of incessant technological distractions.
 
The Three Minute Breathing Space is just one example of a mindfulness exercise. Here is a link to my version of that exercise:

There are plenty more on my free resources page.
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Ideally, you should set aside time each day to engage in at least one mindfulness exercise. But don’t judge yourself if you don’t manage every day. It takes time to establish a new routine.
In addition to mindfulness, remember these key points about self-esteem –

• Assess how much your thoughts are getting stuck on regrets from the past, or fears of the future, rather than acknowledging the present reality.
• Make a choice to let certain negative thoughts go. You do not have to grab hold of each one.
• Strive for self-compassion, including an attempt to understand rather than criticize yourself.
• Remind yourself of the difference between a balanced evaluation of all factors, including everyone involved, rather than a distorted emphasis of your own part in what happened.
• Center yourself with your own values, not the latest trend followed by others.

 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey