Striving for peace in a fractured world

We live in a time when fear often leads the conversation. Yet, when I look at my daughters, I am reminded of what truly matters: not winning, not being right, but being present and feeling safe and calm.
 
As a psychotherapist, and someone who came to this country for love, I know how important it is to belong. But belonging doesn’t begin at the national level. It begins in families, friendships, and yes, in therapy rooms.
 
This isn’t just theory or wild aspirations; it’s biology. We need each other to feel safe and calm. Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, helps explain why these qualities matter not just emotionally but physiologically. At its heart, the theory describes how our nervous system is wired for connection or protection. When we feel threatened, our bodies may shift into fight, flight, or freeze states. But when we feel safe, our social engagement system comes online, allowing us to connect, listen, and co-regulate.
 
As a therapist, and as a husband and father, I’ve seen how essential co-regulation is in daily life. When one person remains calm and present, it can bring another back from the edge. When we speak gently, offer eye contact, and breathe steadily, we send signals of safety. These signals are contagious. They invite nervous systems to settle and hearts to open.
 
Peace starts when we choose to meet ourselves and each other with curiosity rather than criticism, and compassion rather than control.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
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