UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS
  • HOME
  • EMDR THERAPY
  • MEN'S THERAPY
  • AFFIRMATIVE LGBTQ THERAPY
  • Audio therapy
  • CONTACT YOUR THERAPIST
  • ABOUT
  • FEES & INSURANCE
  • BLOG
Picture
Book an Appointment
LEARN MORE

The secret ingredient to a long-lasting relationship

11/2/2018

 
What is the secret ingredient to a long-lasting relationship?  Each relationship is unique, just as each person is unique, but there appears to be at least one common factor throughout:  Connection.

Too often we end up functioning with, rather than truly experiencing, truly connecting with, the other person.  Without this connection, we can quickly forget why we were ever together in the first place.  And then we open our relationship up to danger.

Connection can mean a whole range of things but some can include:

1.  Looking at the person when they are talking to you
2.  Responding to confirm you have understood what they have said 
3.  Asking them questions to show you have an interest about them
4. Offering physical contact, such as holding someone's hand
5.  You try to carve out (even the smallest amount of) time together, without anyone else
6.  You put down/turn off electronic devices such as social media
7.  You follow up on a previous conversation with that person, to check in with how they are with that topic
8.  You share vulnerabilities, admissions of mistakes, and you are not afraid of how you might be viewed by the other

Re-establishing a connection is such a common theme in my work.  I have previously written about the myths about men and connection, and the link between addiction and a lack of connection.  So too can a lack of connection rest at the heart of a relationship's problems.  

To try and re-establish that connection, ask yourself these four questions - 

1.  What was it that first made me fall in love with my partner? What was the 'secret ingredient'?
2.  How much of that is still present in our relationship? 
3.  How much more of that ingredient do I need to get back into our relationship (this is the long-term goal)?
4.  What is the first step I need to take to start my journey towards that long-term goal (this is the short-term goal)?

It takes time and attention to re-establish that connection.  And it is never a one-time exercise. But if we incorporate a small amount of connection (the secret ingredient) into our regular patterns, as much as we incorporate household chores, we will start to see results.

​To read more about couples psychotherapy, click here.

Chris Warren-Dickins is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgewood, New Jersey.  He specializes in psychotherapy for couples, adolescents, men, and the LGBTQ+ community. 
Sessions are available in-person at 162 E Ridgewood Ave, Ridgewood NJ 07451, or via the internet or telephone. Book a consultation today www.exploretransform.com 


Picture

Comments are closed.

    Therapy Blog


    Book online
    LEARN MORE

    Picture
    Subscribe in a reader

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    October 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015

Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
​Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor)
and author of various mental health books 
​(survival guides for depression, anxiety, and trauma).

Book an Appointment

Please note - We are not accepting new clients at this time

LEARN MORE
Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online. 
​
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
​(prior address - 162 E Ridgewood Ave, #4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450)

Telephone: +1-201-779-6917

Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey and Maine
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture

© COPYRIGHT 2023 CHRIS WARREN-DICKINS.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  NJ LICENCE # 37PC00618700. ME LICENCE # MF6904
  • HOME
  • EMDR THERAPY
  • MEN'S THERAPY
  • AFFIRMATIVE LGBTQ THERAPY
  • Audio therapy
  • CONTACT YOUR THERAPIST
  • ABOUT
  • FEES & INSURANCE
  • BLOG