Toxic Popularity

Let’s clear up the confusion between popularity and genuine connection. One is fragile, short-lived, and ridden with conflict. The other is strong, sustainable, and promotes psychological well-being.

Relational depth, not social breadth. A couple of friends who you can trust, and who share your values, are worth more than a crowd of hyper-competitive pretenders.

It can be hard to preserve our mental health when society seems to reward social aggression. It can be even harder when kindness and genuine connection is deemed a weakness or a waste of time.

This is where we need to stand strong together. Not everyone rewards social aggression, and not everyone devalues genuine connection (quality not quantity). And this is where "time out" with a therapist can really help. An experienced psychotherapist can help you to remember what your values are, and you can strategize some challenging social dilemmas.

An experienced therapist can also help you remember that popularity is rarely based on prosocial traits like warmth, humor, or genuine connection. Instead, it is a manifestation of coercive dominance (a form of social aggression where status is secured through intimidation, exclusion, and psychological control).

It can be hard to navigate these experiences alone.  Get in contact today. I would love to explore this more.

I am here for you if you need me.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in New Jersey and the United Kingdom