What if healing doesn't mean changing who you are?

What if healing involves listening to who's inside?

Back in the day, therapists tried to eradicate parts of you. They would try and extinguish your feelings of anger or sadness or frustration, and if talk therapy didn’t work, they would refer you to a psychiatrist to medicate you.
 
The trouble is that anger, sadness, or frustration are trying to tell you something important. Therapists today often refer to these feelings as parts of you (the anger part, the sad part, or the frustrated part, for example). These parts are there for a reason, and they are trying to express a need.
 
Sometimes, it is hard to identify these needs. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it is likely that this is two or more parts showing up at the same time. In therapy, we can work together to help you identify these different parts. That way, it will be easier to identify the needs.
 
No matter what parts show up, we will approach your feelings with curiosity, care, compassion, and acceptance. For example, I would like to know what your lived experience is when that part takes center stage. What happens to your relationships? What happens to your sleep? What happens to your urges, your cravings, your self-image, and your view of the world, when this part is foreground?
 
In therapy, we are striving for a balance. That includes a balance between all the parts, so that one or two do not dominate (so you don’t get stuck). We are also trying to strive for a ‘resourced’ state of curiosity, calmness, courage, compassion, and acceptance of what is. To anchor this state, so it is easier to tap back into it when we are overwhelmed or stressed, we can find images or sounds or smells that resemble this ‘resourced’ state. For example, you might easily tap into a state of calm when you remember stroking your cat or dog, or when you are gazing into the eyes of your children, or when you are on your bike or swimming.
 
I hope this helps you, and if you would like to explore this in more detail, get in contact today. Alternatively, you can book online for a call from me.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey