Who's afraid of "big bad" burnout?

As a society, we reward excessive obligations (at work and at home) but are we honest about how often this leads to burnout, and the dangers it presents?

Burnout isn't pretty. It thins the gray matter of your prefrontax cortex (which sucks because you need that for reasoning and decision-making), and it enlarges the amygdala, which also sucks because that means your brain's alarm system goes into over-activation. Everything feels like a threat. And if we are constantly feeling this, an excessive amount of unhealthy stress hormones are produced (cortisol and epinephrine, for example), and this can lead to high blood pressure, more fat tissue, and damage to your arteries.

So, using the same tune as the nursery rhyme "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" , if we were to ask "Who's Afraid of Big Bad Burnout?", everyone should be.
 
What is burnout?

When I talk to my clients, they describe it as "Getting to the point of not caring about anything," or "Feeling spent, flattened, like I just can't do anything any more," and "Frazzled, stressed, racing thoughts, and no ability to concentrate."

Burnout is the result of being exposed to prolonged stress, and you become physically and emotionally exhausted. You can experience burnout at work or in personal situations such as friendships, family systems, and parenting.

Burnout and the social rewards
 
We aren’t encouraged to rest and digest. Even though this is a biological necessity, society would far prefer we remained in the sympathetic state of fight-or-flight, so we can produce more, and more efficiently. The trouble is, this is not sustainable and, if you adopt a purely economic perspective, we are going to end up producing less and less until we collapse.
 
Take this moment to give yourself permission to pause, take those breaths, and plan how you are going to carve out, on a daily basis, time to prevent burnout. Sometimes you need someone else to give you permission to do this, and until you have adopted the voice of the ‘inner therapist,’ that permission might be given in your weekly sessions at Explore Transform.
 
Burnout and the old habits from age-old messages
 
To keep burnout at bay, you might need to dig into your past a little, so you can see if there are some unhelpful messages that have been given to you that perpetuate equally unhelpful habits. For example, you might have been led to believe that your self-worth depends on your productivity, or you might have been led to believe that you are not safe unless you are constantly vigilant and working hard (in your work life as much as your personal life). It might take time to identify and reality-test these messages but eventually you will be able to gain some perspective on what is right for you, not just what you have been conditioned to believe.
 
Burnout and technology
 
We never escape from our cell phones, and so this increases the likelihood of burnout in our work or home life. Bosses, colleagues, friends, and family members expect our constant vigilance and immediate reply, an expectation that is unhelpful to everyone. It also cheapens the value of the connection we enjoy with each other, reducing interactions to a handful of words or emojis instead of benefiting from eye contact, encouraging vocal tones, and other such calming body language. As we work using Polyvagal theory, we can help you to understand the value of these important aspects of communication, helping our nervous system to feel safe and calm before our developed brain has realized this. In turn, our interactions can feel more nourishing and fulfilling.
 
Burnout, stress, and anxiety
 
Burnout rarely occurs as a result of one thing. Usually it is an accumulation of stressful circumstances, and this can lead to anxiety as much as depression. Adopting a Polyvagal perspective, when someone experiences stress and anxiety, they are often in the sympathetic state of fight-or-flight, where you experience racing thoughts, breathlessness, a rapid heartrate, and many more symptoms that relate to your nervous system’s attempt to flee or fight the dangers you sense.
 
Burnout and trauma
 
For survivors of trauma, burnout can occur when we overly focus on something to distract ourselves from our trauma. This excessive focus can also give us a sense of power and control to counterbalance the feelings of powerlessness or helplessness that we might still experience since the trauma. This excessive focus could be on work issues, personal relationships, or even hobbies that have become more of an obsession than an enjoyable pastime.
 
For years, we have been working with survivors of trauma using EMDR and Polyvagal theory. On this page, you will find a great deal of information about Polyvagal theory and EMDR.
  
If you like, you can book a free ten-minute telephone consultation. You can book this online here.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist at Explore Transform