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“Women seek help — men die”

7/27/2018

 
A few years ago I was interviewed by Wandsworth Radio to discuss Men's Health Week (here is a link to the interview:  http://www.wandsworthradio.com/show/wandsworth-tonight/ ).  During this discussion I mentioned this: “Women seek help — men die” (Jules Angst and Celile Ernst).  This is a blunt way of summarising the statistic that suicide is the single biggest cause of death in men aged 20 to 45 (in the US there are 3.53x more male suicides than female suicides).  To seek help, to share the burden, implies that we are admitting defeat, and that we do not have the strength.  “We are less of a man.”
​

Instead of seeking help, the statistics suggest that men deal with distress in other ways -
  1. Men are nearly three times more likely than women to become alcohol dependent
  2. Men are three times as likely to report frequent drug use than women
  3. 73% of adults who ‘go missing’ are men
  4. 87% of rough sleepers are men
  5. Men make up 95% of the prison population
  6. Men commit 86% of violent crime
  7. Boys are around three times more likely to receive a permanent or fixed period exclusion than girls
We need to challenge our perception of men seeking help.  Strength has many facets, and it includes emotional awareness, intellectual savvy and tactical planning.  It is a sign of strength to learn what our vulnerabilities are, and to work out what our most constructive coping mechanisms are.  When we are in distress, this can be difficult to do alone, and so it makes sense, it is a sign of strength, to seek help.
​

In an article in the Guardian Matt Haig quoted from the book ‘White Noise’ (Don DeLillo):  ‘What could be more useless than a man who couldn’t fix a dripping faucet - fundamentally useless… to the messages in his genes?”  And Haig added:  “What if, instead of a broken faucet it is a broken mind?”

We need to normalise the concept of a man seeking help.  To seek help for emotional distress is just about as normal as a man fixing a tap!

Chris Warren-Dickins LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgewood New Jersey NJ 07450. 
To book an appointment, please telephone +1 (201) 862-7776 or email chris@exploretransform.com

Chris Warren-Dickins LPC Psychotherapist in Ridgewood New Jersey NJ 07450

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Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC

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Office addresses:
162 E Ridgewood Ave, Suite 4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Appointments are available Saturdays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays.
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey

Please note - We have chosen to remain out of network with all insurance plans.
Full payment is due at each session, and the fee range is $185 to $265.
Upon request, we can provide you with a Superbill to facilitate reimbursement through your Out of Network benefits.


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© COPYRIGHT 2015 CHRIS WARREN-DICKINS.  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  NJ LICENCE # 37PC00618700
  • HOME
  • EMDR THERAPY
  • MEN'S THERAPY
  • AFFIRMATIVE LGBTQ THERAPY
  • RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING
  • RESOURCES
    • 5 tips for a better life
    • Audio therapy
    • Help for anxiety
    • Help for depression
    • Why am I so angry?
    • How to trust
    • How to manage self-blame
  • CONTACT YOUR THERAPIST
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