The locked door of powerlessness
“I am living in hell from one day to the next. But there is nothing I can do to escape. I don't know where I would go if I did. I feel utterly powerless, and that feeling is my prison. I entered of my own free will, I locked the door, and I threw away the key.”
― Haruki Murakami
Powerlessness is one of the trickier challenges to our mental health. For example, what good is looking at coping strategies if we feel powerless to implement them? Powerlessness has been associated with more severe cases of anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions, so it is an important area of focus for us at Explore Transform.
When you feel powerless, you end up feeling trapped. Conversely, when you feel a sense of power and control, when you have choices, it is far easier to feel hopeful, even if the situation does not change. As Chris Warren-Dickins explained in their book Beyond Your Confines, the opposite of powerlessness is autonomy, or a sense of control over your life. This takes self-awareness, and sometimes that is difficult to do on your own. That is where a psychotherapist can help, to hold up that “mirror” so you can see yourself clearly. Only then can you make an informed decision about whether any changes are needed, what those look like, and how you can go about it.
When we work with our clients, often we hear the following descriptions of powerlessness:
“I feel like I’m drowning. Powerlessness is a feeling of sinking into myself where all I can do is watch things happen, and that makes me panic, which only adds to the feelings of powerlessness. I hate it.”
“I’ve been known to have a panic attack when I’ve felt powerless. It takes me back to some difficult times during my childhood that I would rather not feel again.”
“I know my depression has hit an all-time low when I feel powerless. My limbs feel heavy, and I feel sluggish.”
“It isn’t a sudden thing. Powerlessness is like a slowly deflating balloon where, eventually, I realize I am depleted without any sense of mastery or control over my life. It sucks.”
“I know when I feel powerless because I lose interest in soccer. Soccer has been my life for years, so I know something is up when I don’t want to play.”
“With everything happening in the news right now, I feel powerless quite a lot. I wish I could find at least a corner or two in my life where I didn’t have to feel this way.”
“I hate feeling powerless. It makes me feel panicky and vulnerable.”
“When I feel powerless, I feel like I am a machine. At work, I just go through the motions until it is time to go home. Those are not my best days; I have to admit.”
“It sounds weird to say it out loud, but powerlessness makes me feel like I am less than human. I mean, having autonomy over our lives is what makes us human, isn’t it?”
Powerlessness and technology
Technology hasn’t helped with our feelings of powerlessness. Yes, cell phones started to get in the way, but the real threat seems to be Artificial Intelligence (AI). Many people have shared their concerns about how this might strip us of more and more of our skills and careers. The trouble is, when we use our skills, we feel competent and accomplished. Without that opportunity, when we become passive recipients of technology, we run a greater risk of developing mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Powerlessness and depression
Research shows that depression is closely linked to feelings of powerlessness. Without a sense of autonomy, things can quickly feel overwhelming, and we might even start to believe that things are hopeless. Some of the descriptions of powerlessness, as set out above, may seem familiar if you have ever experienced depression. Adding to those descriptions, others have referred to depression as a rubber blanket, and the author Margaret Atwood called it "the Sluggish Wave." All of this sounds closely related to powerlessness.
If we view depression through a Polyvagal lens, it is a dorsal vagal response which can be characterized as a state of shutdown, blankness or disconnection, which again suggests a sense of powerlessness. If you would like to read more about Polyvagal theory, you can read our article here. Depression is a serious mental health condition, and you should reach out to discuss this with an experienced licensed therapist.
Powerlessness and anxiety
Research shows that powerlessness is a common feature of anxiety, panic attacks, and panic disorders. Our constant worry about future events imply that we are concerned that we won’t have the power or control over that event, and it will overwhelm us. By addressing this sense of powerlessness, we have helped numerous people with a number of different forms of anxiety, including social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and panic disorders. If you would like to learn more about anxiety and panic attacks, you can read our article here.
Powerlessness and trauma
Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between now and the past, so if you are a survivor of trauma which involved powerlessness back then, it can be hard for the nervous system to know that you are not still, now, powerless. As a result, you might go into a shutdown dorsal vagal response (using a Polyvagal perspective) where you are numb or feel detached, or you might experience memory loss. You might also go into a sympathetic “fight, flight or freeze” response where you might experience a panic attack or have shortness of breath.
For years, we have been helping survivors of trauma to work through their symptoms. Our trauma work is informed by Polyvagal theory, and we make use of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy) to help your nervous system to distinguish between past trauma and present-day safety. If you would like to read more about Polyvagal theory or EMDR, have a read of this page.
Are you feeling powerless?
Questionnaires are never going to serve as a substitute for a full assessment carried out by an experienced and licensed therapist. However, these questions might serve as a useful starting point for your discussions with an experienced professional.
Remember, everyone is different, so some of these questions might mean very different things to you compared with the next person. If you have any concerns about feelings of powerlessness, always consult an experienced and licensed clinician.
When you consider the following questions, use the scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is “not at all” and 10 is “always”:
The relationship between powerlessness, burnout, and loneliness
If you have read our pages on burnout or loneliness, you may see that there is a fair bit of overlap between those two issues and powerlessness. All three of these issues are closely related, all three can increase the likelihood or severity of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, and so that is why we have chosen to specialize in those three areas. There is hope in this overlap: If you work on one (for example, powerlessness), it is highly likely that you will manage to improve the situation with the other two issues ( burnout and loneliness).
Once you have digested the information on this page, feel free to book a free ten-minute telephone consultation. You can book this online here.
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist at Explore Transform
― Haruki Murakami
Powerlessness is one of the trickier challenges to our mental health. For example, what good is looking at coping strategies if we feel powerless to implement them? Powerlessness has been associated with more severe cases of anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions, so it is an important area of focus for us at Explore Transform.
When you feel powerless, you end up feeling trapped. Conversely, when you feel a sense of power and control, when you have choices, it is far easier to feel hopeful, even if the situation does not change. As Chris Warren-Dickins explained in their book Beyond Your Confines, the opposite of powerlessness is autonomy, or a sense of control over your life. This takes self-awareness, and sometimes that is difficult to do on your own. That is where a psychotherapist can help, to hold up that “mirror” so you can see yourself clearly. Only then can you make an informed decision about whether any changes are needed, what those look like, and how you can go about it.
When we work with our clients, often we hear the following descriptions of powerlessness:
“I feel like I’m drowning. Powerlessness is a feeling of sinking into myself where all I can do is watch things happen, and that makes me panic, which only adds to the feelings of powerlessness. I hate it.”
“I’ve been known to have a panic attack when I’ve felt powerless. It takes me back to some difficult times during my childhood that I would rather not feel again.”
“I know my depression has hit an all-time low when I feel powerless. My limbs feel heavy, and I feel sluggish.”
“It isn’t a sudden thing. Powerlessness is like a slowly deflating balloon where, eventually, I realize I am depleted without any sense of mastery or control over my life. It sucks.”
“I know when I feel powerless because I lose interest in soccer. Soccer has been my life for years, so I know something is up when I don’t want to play.”
“With everything happening in the news right now, I feel powerless quite a lot. I wish I could find at least a corner or two in my life where I didn’t have to feel this way.”
“I hate feeling powerless. It makes me feel panicky and vulnerable.”
“When I feel powerless, I feel like I am a machine. At work, I just go through the motions until it is time to go home. Those are not my best days; I have to admit.”
“It sounds weird to say it out loud, but powerlessness makes me feel like I am less than human. I mean, having autonomy over our lives is what makes us human, isn’t it?”
Powerlessness and technology
Technology hasn’t helped with our feelings of powerlessness. Yes, cell phones started to get in the way, but the real threat seems to be Artificial Intelligence (AI). Many people have shared their concerns about how this might strip us of more and more of our skills and careers. The trouble is, when we use our skills, we feel competent and accomplished. Without that opportunity, when we become passive recipients of technology, we run a greater risk of developing mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Powerlessness and depression
Research shows that depression is closely linked to feelings of powerlessness. Without a sense of autonomy, things can quickly feel overwhelming, and we might even start to believe that things are hopeless. Some of the descriptions of powerlessness, as set out above, may seem familiar if you have ever experienced depression. Adding to those descriptions, others have referred to depression as a rubber blanket, and the author Margaret Atwood called it "the Sluggish Wave." All of this sounds closely related to powerlessness.
If we view depression through a Polyvagal lens, it is a dorsal vagal response which can be characterized as a state of shutdown, blankness or disconnection, which again suggests a sense of powerlessness. If you would like to read more about Polyvagal theory, you can read our article here. Depression is a serious mental health condition, and you should reach out to discuss this with an experienced licensed therapist.
Powerlessness and anxiety
Research shows that powerlessness is a common feature of anxiety, panic attacks, and panic disorders. Our constant worry about future events imply that we are concerned that we won’t have the power or control over that event, and it will overwhelm us. By addressing this sense of powerlessness, we have helped numerous people with a number of different forms of anxiety, including social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder, panic attacks, and panic disorders. If you would like to learn more about anxiety and panic attacks, you can read our article here.
Powerlessness and trauma
Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between now and the past, so if you are a survivor of trauma which involved powerlessness back then, it can be hard for the nervous system to know that you are not still, now, powerless. As a result, you might go into a shutdown dorsal vagal response (using a Polyvagal perspective) where you are numb or feel detached, or you might experience memory loss. You might also go into a sympathetic “fight, flight or freeze” response where you might experience a panic attack or have shortness of breath.
For years, we have been helping survivors of trauma to work through their symptoms. Our trauma work is informed by Polyvagal theory, and we make use of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy) to help your nervous system to distinguish between past trauma and present-day safety. If you would like to read more about Polyvagal theory or EMDR, have a read of this page.
Are you feeling powerless?
Questionnaires are never going to serve as a substitute for a full assessment carried out by an experienced and licensed therapist. However, these questions might serve as a useful starting point for your discussions with an experienced professional.
Remember, everyone is different, so some of these questions might mean very different things to you compared with the next person. If you have any concerns about feelings of powerlessness, always consult an experienced and licensed clinician.
When you consider the following questions, use the scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is “not at all” and 10 is “always”:
- Within the last two weeks, I have felt powerless more times than I have not.
- I don’t know how to influence things that happen in my life.
- I don’t feel masterful.
- I feel like other people make me do more things than I choose to do.
- I feel like I am sinking under a weight of responsibility.
- Overall, my life is decided by other people rather than my own decisions.
- No matter what I do, I can’t feel a sense of autonomy.
- I don’t know how to delegate things to other people.
- I don’t know where to look for help.
- I don’t know who can help me.
The relationship between powerlessness, burnout, and loneliness
If you have read our pages on burnout or loneliness, you may see that there is a fair bit of overlap between those two issues and powerlessness. All three of these issues are closely related, all three can increase the likelihood or severity of mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, and so that is why we have chosen to specialize in those three areas. There is hope in this overlap: If you work on one (for example, powerlessness), it is highly likely that you will manage to improve the situation with the other two issues ( burnout and loneliness).
Once you have digested the information on this page, feel free to book a free ten-minute telephone consultation. You can book this online here.
Chris Warren-Dickins
Psychotherapist at Explore Transform
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