“The most important fact about a dream is its emotion” - Irvin Yalom
Is it full of fear, hope, happiness or regret? Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you” – Marianne Williamson
Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com Kennedy-Moore and Watson suggested three conditions for a constructive expression of anger –
‘1. When it is directed at the appropriate target 2. When it does not lead to further retaliation by the target 3. When it results in changes in the perceptions of the expresser or the behaviour of the target Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com Marriage isn’t always what it seems.
If your relationship is causing you pain, talk to someone who is impartial and who can offer you a different perspective. That can be on your own or as a couple Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com Sometimes we grow up according to a family script. We adopt roles, and live by rules or assumptions, as a result of what others have imposed on us.
If this script does not work for you, you can make a choice to live according to the rules and assumptions that you think are important Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com ![]() Find out more about how you can improve the mental wellbeing of your team. Click here to read the NICE pathways on promoting mental wellbeing at work In a family dynamic, a family member might adopt the role of Victim. If so, this can make another family member appear to be the Persecutor, and another person the Rescuer. This is known as Karpman’s Drama Triangle, and it can arise whether it reflects reality or not
Have members of your family adopted one of these roles? If so, gently challenge this. Just because someone views himself as a Victim, does not automatically make you the Persecutor Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com In a family system we can sometimes take refuge in criticising others so that we are not criticised ourselves. This is known as Scapegoating
Look closely at your own family system and take care not to criticise others for things we are guilty of ourselves Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com Anxious about something you are about to do? Write about your thoughts and feelings at each of these stages:
1. Before the event. Resist making anxious predictions 2. During the event. Resist trying to mind-read or guess what is going on. 3. After the event. Resist catastrophising the event and assuming everything is worse than it is. Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com Anxiety thrives on perfectionism. So the burning question to challenge anxiety is: 'Does everything have to be perfect all of the time?'
Are there some small ways that we can loosen the grip a little, and accept the less than perfect? It might be that you need to warm up to this slowly, so try some minor ways to embrace imperfection: Simple examples include wearing odd socks, leaving the house a little untidy, or not finishing the latest novel you have been reading (and you have been hating since chapter one!). It is up to us alone to ease the pressure we put on ourselves. Chris Warren-Dickins BACP Registered Counsellor E: chris@exploretransform.com T: 07816681154 W: www.exploretransform.com |
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March 2023
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