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I know the numbers are not looking good, so I hope you find these free exercises helpful. Even if you engage in one mindfulness/meditation exercise a day, studies say these can bring down your cortisol levels. Stay safe during the holidays. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) and Beyond the Blue Ridgewood, New Jersey  No matter how hard we try, and no matter how much distress it causes us, there will be situations we cannot change. This is where we can use Reality Acceptance Skills. This is a concept developed by Marsha Linehan, who created Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). The whole idea behind this is that if we have truly tried to problem-solve, and there is no way to change the situation, we will create more suffering for ourself if we refuse to accept reality: Pain + Acceptance = Pain Whereas: Pain + Non-Acceptance = Pain Compounded Acceptance means -
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) and Beyond the Blue Ridgewood, New Jersey  To manage anxiety, you need to believe in your inner resources. To believe in your inner resources, you need to become aware of, and accept, your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. To help with this, there is a mindfulness exercise called the Body Scan. During this exercise, as you scan your body, you become aware of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. A key component of mindfulness is acceptance: 1. You accept the thoughts that arise 2. You accept the emotions that you are aware of, and 3. You accept the bodily sensations that you notice You do not have to do anything about the thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, just notice them and accept them without judgment. The idea is that the more we judge, or try to reject unwanted thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, the more power we give them. Sometimes if we just notice them, the thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations can peak and then subside. I have recorded an audio version of the Body Scan, so have a listen and see what comes up. With a little practice, you will become aware of, and accept, your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. And in time, this will give you the resilience to manage your anxiety. To find out more about anxiety, check out my additional free resources here. https://www.exploretransform.com/help-for-anxiety.html Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) and Beyond the Blue Ridgewood, New Jersey  Relationships can endure pressure, and sometimes the pressure builds so much that they are fractured. If this has happened to your personal or work relationship, here are a few steps to take - 1. Decide if you need or want to repair this relationship. If you weigh up the pros and cons of having this person in your life, you may realise that it is not worth continuing with the relationship. 2. Assuming you want to keep this person in your life, or you have no choice, you need to figure out how to repair that relationship. This can be hard if someone has hurt you, or you believe that they have wronged you. You need to develop compassion for this person, and one way is to try and empathise with how they may have viewed the situation. Try and understand why they may have behaved in such a way. You don't have to agree with someone to empathise with, and understand where they are coming from. 3. Even if you can understand where someone is coming from, it can be hard to truly repair the relationship. The final, and most essential, step is to develop compassion for that person. To develop this compassion, there is a mindfulness exercise called the Loving Kindness Meditation. This encourages you to hold the image of the person in your heart, as if a parent were holding their child. This often takes time to master, but it is worth it. I have recorded an audio version of it, so you can listen to it whenever you like. I hope you find this useful. If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) and Beyond the Blue Ridgewood, New Jersey  You have made it. You have the career you worked so hard for, and you have the things you never thought would be yours: A decent salary, benefits, people reporting to you, and a boss who actually likes you. Yet still the Imposter lurks in the background. The Imposter tells you that you are balancing on a razor edge, and all of this could disappear. The words that fill your day are ‘I am not good enough’. You are in the grip of Imposter Syndrome. I have worked with many people who have struggled with this, and without the right help, it can cause widespread damage. Without tackling Imposter Syndrome, people can remain stagnant in their career, avoid commitment in personal relationships, and I have even worked with clients who have been unable to buy a home because they did not believe they would keep the career that would pay for it. The constant theme in their life is that they do not believe in any of their strengths, resources and achievements. So what on earth is going on? Why do some of us suffer from Imposter Syndrome? Here are some thoughts. Twisted Thinking from your Negative Voice Your Imposter Syndrome is coming from your Negative Voice. We all have one, but when you are in the grip of Imposter Syndrome you let this voice prevail, and it ends up impacting your thought process; you make assumptions in the negative, and you jump to conclusions about all sorts of things to prove the point that you should not deserve the status or accolades you have been awarded. David Burns calls this sort of thought process Twisted Thinking, and here are some examples -
Do any of these sound familiar to you? Who opened the door to the Imposter? When I help clients manage their Imposter Syndrome, I search for any ‘secondary gain’. Some clients continue to believe in the Imposter because they are somehow benefiting from this belief. This is especially so if a caregiver introduced this sense of disbelief in your own strengths and resources. We are so impressionable when we are young and our brains are forming; no matter how well-intentioned a caregiver, they may say certain things that open a door to allow an Imposter to creep in. For example, you may have had a parent who tells you that you are more of a sportsman than an academic, and so the doubts start to grow when you need intelligence in your career. Even when you have the evidence to show that you have done pretty well with your intelligence, there is an emotional pull away from this belief, because to accept it might mean that you reject (at least in part) that caregiver. Assertive Communication Often we feel like an Imposter because we are failing to meet our needs. We are so worried about being ‘found out’ that the last thing we want to do is draw attention to ourselves by asserting our needs. The trouble is, success requires us to speak up and assert our views and needs. You don’t have to live with this Imposter forever; there are simple things you can do.
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) and Beyond the Blue Ridgewood, New Jersey  |
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Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor)
and author of various mental health books
(survival guides for depression, anxiety, and trauma).
Please note - We are not accepting new clients at this time
Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online.
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
(prior address - 162 E Ridgewood Ave, #4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450)
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey and Maine
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
(prior address - 162 E Ridgewood Ave, #4B, Ridgewood, NJ 07450)
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey and Maine
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© COPYRIGHT 2023 CHRIS WARREN-DICKINS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NJ LICENCE # 37PC00618700. ME LICENCE # MF6904