I originally wrote this article in January, when Katie Hopkins was making our toenails curl with her acerbic comments as she appeared on Celebrity Big Brother.  Since then, she has sunk to a new low, referring to refugees as “cockroaches” and saying “show me bodies floating in water, play violins and show me skinny people looking sad. I still don’t care”.

At one time she was saying things which were offensive, things like:  ‘Nothing makes my buttocks clench tighter and my teeth itch more than ‘Full Time Mummy’. Full Time Mummy is not a job title. It is a biological status’ (Katie Hopkins).  This might have made us feel angry, but somehow this pales in comparison with the comments about the tragic refugee crisis.

Hopkins would claim that she is speaking her ‘truth’, that she is describing the world as she sees it.  She might even say that she is being congruent.  Congruence is a term counsellors and psychotherapists often use in their work with clients.  Carl Rogers considered it to be an essential component of the relationship between counsellor and client. To be congruent, the counsellor and client must relate to each other in a genuine and open way. But does this mean that the counsellor and client can interact in such an open way that feelings get hurt?

Some might argue that a therapist is not there to be a nodding dog of a friend, and perhaps Katie Hopkins justifies her acerbic comments along similar lines, but does this give people the freedom to offend others? This debate arose in relation to the cartoon depictions of the Prophet Mohammed, and amongst that debate was an important point: ‘With freedom comes great responsibility’ (Eleanor Roosevelt). 

We cannot trample on someone else’s feelings simply in the name of freedom. We must use that freedom wisely, and so, as Nicola Davies pointed out in her article (Therapy Today, July 2014), congruence is not the only essential component of a relationship between a counsellor and a client. Carl Rogers also considered empathy and unconditional positive regard to be essential. We must understand accurately the feelings of the other person, and we must also remain accepting and caring.  Two additional components that sadly someone like Katie Hopkins will never understand.

Chris Warren-Dickins, Founder of Explore & Transform

We all have a vision for our lives, a direction, a purpose.  So what about the vision I have for Explore & Transform?

Just to recap, Explore & Transform is a counselling, psychotherapy, coaching and training service in Central London (Bank / St Paul’s EC4) and South West London (Southfields, Wandsworth SW18).  The vision behind this is to empower people to make a sustainable change. What do I mean by this? – 

Empower people? – 

• I am not the expert of your life, that is you.  You have been living with yourself, your outer behaviour but also your inner thoughts and feelings, for many years.  I have not.  Therefore, the primary vision of Explore & Transform is to empower you to make sense of your experiences so that you can make decisions for yourself.
• However, sometimes we need to share our experiences with a trained professional to truly hear ourselves, to understand what is happening for us, and to enable us to then make decisions for ourselves.  Therefore I will work hard to understand how you view the world, and what meaning you give to your experiences, and I will help you to truly hear yourself, and understand what is happening.

Sustainable change? –

• Once you understand your experiences, and you have accepted them, then Explore & Transform will work with you to make a sustainable change in your life.  There is no point looking for quick fixes, papering over the cracks.  We need to look at how you can make these changes truly part of you, and this only comes once you look at how life might be once you make those changes.  It might be that you end up deciding that you do not want to make that change, but we will work together to explore this.

How can I achieve this vision? Through Explore & Transform, I will provide an individualised and accessible counselling, psychotherapy, coaching and training service in South West London (Southfields, Wandsworth SW18) and Central London (Bank / St Paul’s EC4) -   

• Individualised? - There is no one fit for everyone.  I will therefore work with you in a way that suits your requirements, and the issues you present.  This could involve counselling, psychotherapy, coaching or training.  We can discuss this more when we meet for an initial assessment.
• Accessible?  -  It is important that people access the help they need, and so my approach is flexible to meet your demands.  

Why don’t you get in touch and ask me any questions.  You can do this by telephoning me on 07816681154 or sending me an email at chris@exploretransform.com .  You can also send me a message using the contact form on my website at http://www.exploretransform.com/about.html

Once you feel comfortable, you could then book an initial assessment to see how we might work together.  I look forward to meeting you.

Chris Warren-Dickins, Founder of Explore & Transform

Depression has been described as a prison we build for ourselves (Dorothy Rowe), and I have included below a quotation from Rowe's book 'Depression: The Way Out of Your Prison'.  

Do you hold onto any of these six 'Truths'?  If so, how helpful have these been?  If any of these have been rods used to beat your own back, rather than carrots to act as an incentive for constructive change, perhaps now is the time to take a step back and challenge these.

Chris Warren-Dickins, Founder of Explore & Transform