Depression doesn’t look the same for everyone.
 
It might feel like you’re stuck in a fog. You’re unable to shake this heaviness, this disconnection from things you used to enjoy. Or you might feel irritable or too distracted or too exhausted to keep up with life. Depression doesn’t have one face, and it doesn’t always come with obvious signs.
 
If you’re feeling this way, it’s more than okay to reach out. I’ve worked with many people in New Jersey who have struggled with these silent symptoms. Once we have worked out what is going on, I have helped people to find their way to a healthier, more balanced life. Healing is possible, and it starts with self-compassion.
 
If you need to talk to me about how depression is impacting your life (or the life of a loved one), get in contact.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in New Jersey
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Depression often feels like an invisible weight, but the truth is, you don’t have to carry it by yourself.
 
Whether it’s a lingering sadness, a sense of numbness, or struggling to get through the day, it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not weak, you’re human.
 
As a therapist here in Ridgewood, I know how hard it can be to take that first step toward healing. But together, we can explore what’s underneath the surface and start to build a path to a life where you can breathe a little easier.
 
Remember: Reaching out isn’t a sign of defeat. It’s a courageous step toward reclaiming your peace.
 
If you need to talk to me about how depression is impacting your life (or the life of a loved one), get in contact.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in New Jersey

Let’s talk about depression.
 
As a therapist here in New Jersey, I see firsthand how depression can silently impact lives. Depression packs a punch for a person of age, background, or life situation.
 
Depression isn’t just “feeling sad.” It can look like anger, irritation, disconnection, fatigue, excessive guilt, struggling to get out of bed, or an inability to focus.


If this sounds familiar, get in contact. You don’t have to struggle alone. Therapy can help you to make sense of those feelings, and it can help you to identify coping strategies. Book online for a free call.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in New Jersey

How often are your boundaries encroached? Perhaps you are contacted by work colleagues late at night or during the weekend. Perhaps your friends pressure you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing. Maybe your partner makes decisions for you, and they don’t even ask for your input.
 
At what point do you speak up about your feelings and needs? At what point do you say no? When you are already experiencing burnout? If so, that might be too late. Studies show that burnout thins the gray matter of your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that is responsible for important functions such as reasoning and decision-making), and it can enlarge the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system). By the time you are experiencing burnout, already your ability to advocate for yourself has been eroded.
 
Now is the time to use those basic skills of assertiveness. Now, before you are in burnout.
 
In therapy, we explore the “why” behind our patterns. So it might help you to understand why it is so hard to assert your feelings and needs. This might be a simple case of conditioning. If so, the good news is that you can unlearn whatever you were taught. You can replace “I’m invisible” or “I’m worthless” with “I have a voice that deserves to be heard.
 
Once we understand the “why,” you can then learn how to show up differently in the same situations. You can preserve a work dynamic or personal relationship without constantly capitulating. You have feelings and needs that are as important as anyone else’s. So let’s start living in a way that honors this.
 
Get in contact if you would like to explore this in more detail.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in New Jersey
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Do you ever say “no” and then feel guilty? Do you wish you could say “no” but don’t know how? You’re not alone. Many of us, especially in high-pressure careers, have learned from an early age to prioritize the convenience or comfort of others over our own needs.
 
To prioritize the needs of others might seem like an easy fix but in the long-term, this can eat away at your mental health. It is impossible to please everyone all of the time, so eventually your anxiety is going to catch up with you. Eventually, you might compromise your needs so much that you lose a sense of self-esteem, and this is a quick route to depression.
 
Assertiveness is the skill of knowing your own limits without the unnecessary guilt. The trouble is, we live in a society where we are expected to ignore our limits and keep giving more and more.
 
You might have learned about assertiveness at one time in your life, but skills tend to become rusty when we don’t practice them. So here are a few reminders to polish up your assertiveness skills:
 
Watch for unnecessary apologies.
Don’t over-explain yourself.
Don’t expect the other person to agree with you.
Focus on “I” statements. For example, “I don’t feel I have capacity for that right now,” rather than “Yet again, you have overburdened me.”
Assertiveness won’t always be possible, especially if there is a significant power imbalance.
Acknowledge that assertiveness can be hard, and it takes practice.
 
If you need a little help with this, get in contact. I am here when you are ready.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
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Assertiveness is not aggression. It’s about knowing that your feelings and needs matter. It’s also about expressing those feelings and needs, and listening to others. 
 
As a therapist in Northern New Jersey, I see so many clients struggle with assertiveness. They either struggle to speak up, compromising on everything and ending up frustrated or feeling hopeless. Or they are overbearing and they run the risk of losing valuable relationships or business ventures.
 
Assertiveness is a skill that develops over time. It takes practice to find that sweet spot where you can express yourself authentically but also stay in tune with the emotional needs of others.
 
Get in contact if you would like to explore this in more detail.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
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Signs you might need stronger boundaries:
 
You feel exhausted after social interactions.
You say “yes” to avoid conflict.
You take on responsibilities that aren’t yours.
You feel resentful but stay silent.
 
Sound familiar?
 
The good news is: Boundaries can be learned.
In therapy, I help clients across New Jersey recognize where their limits are. I also help people to communicate them clearly, confidently, and kindly.
 
If you’re ready to break free of burnout, if you’re ready to build more respectful, balanced relationship, then let’s talk.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey

If you’ve ever felt guilty about saying “no,” you’re not alone.
 
Many of my clients here on the East Coast come into therapy feeling burnout out. It isn’t because they don’t care. It’s because they care too much, and at the expense of themselves.
 
Here’s what I help them to understand about themselves:
 
It’s okay to set boundaries without an explanation.
“No” is a full sentence.
You’re allowed to protect your time.
There is no “should” or “should not” about how you feel.
 
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out, they’re letting the right people in, and in a way that works for you.
 
You can be kind and assertive. You can care for others and protect yourself.
 
I am here to help you take the next step with setting boundaries in your work or home life. Get in contact so we can work this out.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Bergen County, New Jersey
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Boundaries are how we teach others how to treat us. More importantly, they protect our energy and preserve our sense of self. So why do so many people, especially here on the East Coast, confuse boundaries with selfishness?
 
Let’s be clear:
Setting boundaries is not rude.
It’s not unkind.
It’s not “too much.”
 
Boundaries are the foundation of mental wellness, and they’re something we can all learn. You just might need a little help. If so, get in contact today.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in New Jersey

It is rare that we can “think” our way out of stress, anxiety, depression and trauma responses. The trouble is, your nervous system does not understand these words. It understands sensations, movement of the body, tone of voice, and breathing patterns.
 
Polyvagal theory helps us to understand our nervous system in three states:
 
Ventral vagal, where you feel safe and calm and connected.
Sympathetic (fight-or-flight), where your body is mobilized to seek out safety.
Dorsal vagal (shutdown), where you experience numbness, fatigue, or dissociation.
 
If your system gets stuck in the sympathetic or dorsal vagal states, your body cannot rest and recover. As a result, you can develop brain fog, depression, anxiety, or even digestive issues.
 
Polyvagal techniques help our body to recognize signs of safety, rather than always seeing danger (and either being chronically on alert, or in a state of collapse). In other words, you slowly shift out of survival mode, offering yourself the chance to truly connect with your experiences.
 
Key point:
These techniques work because they mimic the body’s natural signals of safety.
 
Polyvagal techniques include slow exhalations paired with sound (like humming or sighing), tapping, gentle, rhythmic movement, pairing breath with sound (like humming or vocalizing or sighing), and orientation exercises that bring your attention to the present moment (for example, notice the colors or textures of the objects around you, or notice the sounds).
 
These techniques can help you to transform your mind and body.
Key point:
The more you repeat these techniques, the more your nervous system can learn to move out of survival mode without danger.
 
At one time, being with people, speaking up, or setting boundaries once left us feeling ‘triggered.’ To do any of this left us feeling unsafe but, with the help of these Polyvagal techniques, we can tolerate being with people, speaking up, and setting boundaries. Finally we feel safe when we do these things.
 
I hope you found this interesting and useful. If you would like to explore this more, you can contact me via this page. You can also book online for a free call from me.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Trauma therapist in Bergen County, New Jersey

Imposter syndrome won’t go away just because you achieve more.
 
Instead, try these four steps:
 
1.Name the narrative: Recognize the ‘part’ of you, or the inner voice, that tells you, “I’m not good enough.”
2.Try to identify the feelings and needs of that critical ‘part’ of you. For example, is there a need for stability? Perhaps this comes from a childhood growing up in an unstable life.
3.Identify alternative ways to meet that need and self-soothe.
 
Does any of this resonate with you? If you would like to explore how this applies to you, contact me via this page or book online for a time when I should call you back.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
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Do you downplay your achievements?
Do you avoid applying for opportunities you were qualified for?
Do you spend many days at work feeling like you have to ‘earn’ your place there?
 
If so, you are dealing with imposter syndrome.
Don’t worry, you are not alone. Many of us feel this way, and no matter how hard others try to convince us, we still don’t believe in our worth.
 
Sometimes this is a belief handed to us from a young age. If you were neglected as a child (emotionally, physically, or both) you can take on this message that you are not good enough. The longer you have held this belief, the longer it will take to challenge it.
 
But it is possible.
 
I work with professionals, entrepreneurs, creatives, and students to help them realize their value. What they tell me is that it has been helpful to remember that feeling like an imposter doesn’t make you one. In fact, the ‘imposter part’ that you carry can serve a purpose; to keep you vigilant for opportunities for growth.  
 
Does any of this resonate with you? If you would like to explore how this applies to you, contact me via this page or book online for a time when I should call you back.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
​

“I just got lucky.”
“I don’t belong here.”
“Any minute now, they will figure out that I have no idea what I am doing.”
 
These are classic phrases spoken by someone with imposter syndrome, and, in my work as a psychotherapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey, I hear them all the time.
 
Imposter syndrome is the internal belief that your success isn’t earned, and that one day soon you will be found out as a fraud or an imposter.
 
Here’s the truth:
Intelligence and self-doubt can (and often do) coexist.
You don’t have to feel confident to be capable.
Feeling like an imposter doesn’t mean you are one.
 
In therapy, we work on rewiring those critical thoughts and reconnecting you to your actual accomplishments.
 
Does any of this resonate with you? If you would like to explore how this applies to you, contact me via this page or book online for a time when I should call you back.
 
Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Ridgewood, New Jersey
​

One of the many reasons why I love polyvagal theory is because it is visually stunning. I have found it immensely helpful to learn that our 'symptoms' are simply our body and mind trying to keep us safe. There is nothing intrinsically 'wrong' or 'miswired' about us. In fact, the opposite is true; our body and mind is doing what it was designed to do.

Understanding our responses is one big step towards regaining control of your life. Here is a fascinating article issued by the Polyvagal Institute, where they explain more about the responses of our mind and body.

If you would like to process this further, book online today.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Bergen County, New Jersey

Many EMDR therapists use polyvagal theory to help someone understand that their body and mind are responding in a certain way because it is biologically built to do this. Your nervous system is responding to cues of danger or safety, and so symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma responses, are easier to understand when we view our nervous system as a ladder (as shown in the diagram below).
 
At the bottom of the nervous system ladder, in response to cues of danger, our nervous system can shut down. Here we can feel numb, blank-minded, even depressed. Think of how we might be caught by the saber-tooth tiger; our nervous system cleverly shuts us down so we do not feel the pain of the bite of the tiger. This is the work of the part of the parasympathetic nervous system that is known as the dorsal vagal response.
 
In the middle of the nervous system ladder, in response to cues of danger that we have a hope of escaping, our nervous system will respond by increasing our heart rate so we can fight or flee the danger. Here we can find outbursts of anger and anxiety, and this is the work of the sympathetic nervous system.
 
Finally, at the top of the nervous system ladder, we find the most evolved response, in response to cues of safety, when we can connect with ourselves and others. Thanks to our parasympathetic nervous system, this is the ventral vagal response.
 
Together, we will help you to notice and name the different states, and you can use this awareness to flex in and out of the various states as appropriate.

Get in contact today.

Chris Warren-Dickins
Therapist in Bergen County, New Jersey