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This month I have again been featured in Counseling Today, a publication by the American Counseling Association. In this article I explain how we can help clients who are in intimate relationships. We need to take care not to make assumptions about other people's sexual identity and gender identity, and perhaps even the term 'couples counseling/therapy' reveals a little about these assumptions. "Couples therapy has been around for years, so it is easy to believe that we know everything we need to know about its underlying principles. Assumptions can lead to an overly narrow perspective, so I’d like to offer 10 ideas on which to reflect when it comes to couples therapy..." Read the full article here  Here are 10 top tips for anger management. Hope you find these useful! - 1. Anger is often a communication of unmet needs. Often we can only work on anger management if we identify, and try and meet, those unmet needs 2. Anger as an emotion is okay. It is the behaviour that accompanies the emotion that is problematic 3. Assertiveness training can often help with anger management. This enables someone to communicate their needs without expressing anger in a disproportionate manner 4. Anger tends to be viewed as problematic if it is a disproportionate reaction to a situation 5. Anger is unhelpful when it is caused by distorted thinking. For example, someone might get angry in a situation because of painful memories, rather than anything that is particularly threatening in the present 6. Contrast anger and anxiety: Anger is often someone focusing on a perceived violation of their rights, whereas someone is often anxious because they believe that they are unable to cope in a situation 7. Contrast anger and sadness: If someone is insulted and she tends to accept the insult, devaluing herself as a result, the emotion would tend to be sadness. However, in the same situation, if the person tends to reject the insult as unfounded and unacceptable, the resulting emotion would tend to be anger 8. Therapists will often offer Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help with anger management. This helps someone examine unhelpful thinking patterns that might fuel the anger. Examples of unhelpful thinking include jumping to conclusions, generalising about situations, assuming things about other people (or ‘mind-reading’) and living by the ‘tyranny of the shoulds’ (the client believes that she should live a certain way, and the world should be a certain way) 9. Many therapists agree that it is useful to find a safe way to express emotions, but it is not necessarily useful to vent emotions. Venting anger implies that it is eradicated, whereas expression of anger implies that something important about that person is communicated 10. Some people find this useful: Name it (as anger, not pretending to be something else), claim it (as your anger, not someone else’s), Aim it (at the correct cause of our anger), Tame it (so that it does not become destructive) Get in contact today. You can send an email, telephone, or use the online booking system. Email - chris@exploretransform.com Telephone - (201) 779-6917 https://www.exploretransform.com/ Online booking https://www.therapyportal.com/p/cwarrendickins/ Chris Warren-Dickins LPC , Licensed Professional Counselor with an office at 162 E Ridgewood Ave, Ste 4B, Ridgewood, New Jersey. Sessions are also available online #chriswarrendickins #ridgewood #depression #anxiety #angermanagement #trauma #relationships #stress #counseling #bergencounty #newjersey #therapy #Support #psychotherapy #counselor #mentalhealth #onlinetherapy  Get our new practice brochure today. Enclosed you will find details of our services, fees and insurance, and a little information about Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Pronouns: (he/him/his) NJCA Public Policy & Legislation Committee Member WPATH Member www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 Compassionate, affirmative, professional psychotherapy Online booking available here A common assumption underpinning depression is: 'I do not have the ability or resources to handle situations. I am somehow deficient'. When something negative happens, instead of thinking of all the possible reasons why this might have occurred, someone who is depressed will often assume the negative situation has arisen because of their underpinning assumption that they are deficient. At this point, it might be useful to consider the wisdom of others. Is there someone you know who is good at coping with this sort of situation? If so, what would they do? How would they think and act in relation to this event? And if you are not sure how they cope, why not ask them? You might be surprised about the assumptions you have made. Get in contact today. You can send an email, telephone, or use the online booking system. Email - chris@exploretransform.com Telephone - (201) 779-6917 https://www.exploretransform.com/ Online booking https://www.therapyportal.com/p/cwarrendickins/ Chris Warren-Dickins LPC , Licensed Professional Counselor with an office at 162 E Ridgewood Ave, Ste 4B, Ridgewood, New Jersey. Sessions are also available online #chriswarrendickins #ridgewood #depression #anxiety #angermanagement #trauma #relationships #stress #counseling #bergencounty #newjersey #therapy #Support #psychotherapy #counselor #mentalhealth #onlinetherapy  I know how hard it can be to take that first step. I offer a free 15 minute telephone consultation to help you decide how we might work together. Call me today on (201) 779-6917, or email me at chris@exploretransform.com or book online at https://www.therapyportal.com/p/cwarrendickins/  Anxiety thrives on perfectionism. So the burning question to challenge anxiety is: 'Does everything have to be perfect all of the time?' Are there some small ways that we can loosen the grip a little, and accept the less than perfect? It might be that you need to warm up to this slowly, so try some minor ways to embrace imperfection: Simple examples include wearing odd socks, leaving the house a little untidy, or not finishing the latest novel you have been reading (and you have been hating it since chapter one!). It is up to us alone to ease the pressure we put on ourselves. Get in contact today. You can send an email, telephone, or use the online booking system. Email - chris@exploretransform.com Telephone - (201) 779-6917 https://www.exploretransform.com/ Online booking https://www.therapyportal.com/p/cwarrendickins/ Chris Warren-Dickins is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Sessions are available in-person at his downtown Ridgewood, or online  ‘I wake up filled with dread for the day ahead. And why should I get out of bed? The anxiety buzzes louder as the hours tick by, increasing the risk that something will go wrong, and if it does (because it always does), I will be the one to blame. No matter the day, the fault lies with me.’ I hear these words all too many times. An excessive sense of self-blame leaves people paralysed with fear. They assume things will go wrong, and so they avoid life more and more, because they cannot face the prospect of bearing the weight of responsibility. Avoidance and isolation can only makes things worse. If you feel that you suffer from a sense of excessive self-blame, take a moment to consider these thoughts Read more here  Tomorrow the LGBTQ group meets in downtown Ridgewood. Why not join us? We meet every third Wednesday of the month at 7.30pm. Message me for more details.  It was an honour to be the mental health expert on a panel discussion yesterday. Members of the LGBTQIA+ community need to feel welcome in every part of society. Whether it is in a faith community, a school, someone's immediate family, or a place of employment, discrimination can have a lasting impact on a person's mental health. If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem. As soon as the video of the discussion is available, I will share it! https://www.exploretransform.com/lgbtqia-counseling.html
If you are a member or ally of the LGBTQ community, why not come to the LGBTQ group. We meet in downtown Ridgewood, Bergen County, NJ, at 7.30pm every third Wednesday of the month. It would be great to see you, so send me a message if you would like to sign up. chris@exploretransform.com  |
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