 If you need to talk to someone about anxiety, depression or trauma, and you are gender queer, transgender, or non-binary, you need to make sure that you are opening up in a safe environment. There are some professionals who might claim to be accepting, but the reality is far from true. I have been on the receiving end of professionals who let their personal biases leak out, making crass assumptions and pathologizing people because of their own lack of experience.
Some people who are reading this might have questions about gender identity, either because they are exploring their own identity, or they know someone who is. As a result, let’s answer: What is gender identity? Gender identity? In the words of Gender Spectrum, gender identity is 'our internal experience and naming of our gender. It can correspond to or differ from the sex we were assigned at birth'. Gender identity is not a binary concept, this is simply how we have understood (or oversimplified) gender. The reality is that gender identity exists on a spectrum, and this can include people who are transgender, cis gender, non-binary, gender queer, and other gender identities. 'Because we are provided with limited language for gender, it may take a person quite some time to discover, or create, the language that best communicates their internal experience. Likewise, as language evolves, a person’s name for their gender may also evolve. This does not mean their gender has changed, but rather that the words for it are shifting.' 'Each dimension of gender is informed by our unique intersection of identities, experiences, and personal characteristics. We are more than our body, gender identity and gender expression: we are also our race, ethnicity, class, faith, sense of geographic place, family history, and more. Our gender is personal because, while we share some of these aspects of self with others, the way that all of these identities, influences and characteristics come together is unique to each of us'. Read more here https://www.genderspectrum.org/quick-…/understanding-gender/ What is cisgender privilege? If someone’s gender identity corresponds to the sex they were assigned at birth, this is known as cisgender. To identify as cisgender means that you live with cisgender privilege, whether you are aware of this or not. Cisgender privilege means that you do not have to endure the overt and covert discrimination experienced by many people who are not cisgender (for example, people who are transgender, non-binary, or gender queer). Cisgender privilege means you can assume you will not be denied work, a home, healthcare, a place to worship, a family to love, or your personal safety, because of your gender identity. Cisgender privilege means that you don’t have to remind people (even your loved ones) of your pronouns, and/or your name (for example, you are not dead-named). Seemingly innocuous moments in everyday life can symbolize cisgender privilege, which basically assumes a binary construct of gender identity. Examples of these everyday moments are set out below:
To pretend that there are only cisgender people in society is to pretend that parts of our population do not exist. To do this is offensive, and it can leave a lasting impact on someone’s mental health. “40% of transgender adults reported having made a suicide attempt, and 92% of these having attempted suicide before the age of 25” (Trevor Project). In addition, 86% of transgender individuals reported sexual or physical assault. Here are some accounts from a Human Rights Watch report: “Alexander S., a 16-year-old transgender boy in Texas, said: I started getting a lot of anonymous people telling me to kill myself, that it wasn’t worth living. I called the school and told them what was going on and they didn’t do anything.” “It was “like a little mental pinch” when teachers used the wrong pronouns. “It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but eventually you bruise”, 17-year-old transgender student in Utah.” So, the biggest cisgender privilege is to live a life where you are less likely to commit suicide, and less likely to experience sexual or physical assault. Less obvious forms of discrimination include microaggressions, which are everyday slights, snubs or insults that communicate hostility (whether or not they are intentional). GLAAD ran a photo campaign to highlight this issue. Here are some examples from that campaign –
If we are to truly understand the concept of privilege, we cannot stop at gender identity. For example, a white transgender man will experience white privilege that a black transgender man will not. As the American Psychological Association points out, each of our “social identities contributes uniquely and in intersecting ways to shape” how we experience and perform our lives (APA Guidelines, 2018). In turn, this has an impact on “relational, psychological, and behavioural health outcomes in both positive and negative ways”. In a future article, we will look at other forms of privilege, including white privilege. In the meantime, we will close with some tips on how to address cisgender privilege – - Raise awareness about the privilege of being cisgender. - Stop making assumptions about people’s gender identity. If in doubt, and it seems appropriate, ask. If not, use ‘they’ rather than ‘him’ or ‘her’. - Normalize the concept of identifying gender, including a person’s pronouns, and include your own pronouns in your email signoff. - Gender identity is a personal matter. How you identify, and how much you share that with another person, is up to you. I hope you found this useful. Please get in contact if you need to explore this more. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Pronouns: (they/them/theirs) Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #Gender, #GenderIdentity, #Transgender, #NonBinary, #GenderQueer, #Anxiety, #Depression, #Trauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #psychology, #MentalHealth When you work with an experienced psychotherapist, they will help you understand that certain behavior, emotions or bodily sensations can be signs of a trauma response. Often we identify trauma responses as fight, flight, freeze and submit responses -
When we learn to identify the trauma responses, this can also help us to understand where these originated. This can then take us once step closer to healing from trauma, because we can identify how the circumstances have changed since we experienced that trauma. For example –
To heal from trauma involves helping your nervous system to sense that the trauma is in the past, and you are able to feel the present safety. You can distinguish past from present. If you would like to explore this further, get in touch. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #psychology, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Three years ago, when I wrote The Stunned Silence of an Anxious Mind, we were full throttle into a pandemic. Because there was so much uncertainty, there was so much anxiety, and I struggled to keep up with the demands of my psychotherapy practice, while also trying to keep my young children healthy and balanced.
Three years on, and the mental health of the United States has not improved. Rates of anxiety and depression have increased from one in ten adults to four in ten adults, and part of this is due to the increase in intolerance and discrimination. We only need five minutes to scroll through the news headlines to see examples of this. Anxiety and depression, whether or not fueled by intolerance and discrimination, can make your self-esteem crumble, like a house collapsing from within. No matter how much you learn, how many people you meet, no matter things you do that once gave you enjoyment, all of a sudden you cannot tackle even the simplest of tasks, and for many, this can reveal itself as a blank mind. In my work as a psychotherapist, I use Polyvagal Theory to help people understand what our body and mind might be doing when it is stressed. In terms of Polyvagal Theory, a blank mind might be explained as our nervous system in the dorsal vagal state. This is the most unevolved state, when we do not feel safe, and our body and mind shuts down. Think of the prey that has been stalked by a saber tooth tiger, and it cannot escape; it needs to shut down so it does not feel the pain of the tiger’s jaws. In our work, I might help you to identify when you notice that you are in the dorsal vagal state, and you can learn how to try and flex out of it using breathing exercises or grounding exercises (for example, using your senses to identify sights and sounds, even smells, in the room). Further up the nervous system is the slightly more evolved sympathetic nervous system, otherwise knowsn as fight-or-flight. Think of the prey having a chance of escape from the saber tooth tiger, when its heartrate increases so it can try and fight off, or flee, the saber tooth tiger. When we experience anxiety, this is often because we are stuck in the sympathetic state. We sense danger and so our heart beats too much, we sweat, and we are nervous about the slightest thing. This is the nervous system, so we might not even be immediately aware of anything that should make our heart beat so fast. No matter the cause, we need to learn how to calm things down a little. The sympathetic state, and the dorsal vagal state, are both needed when we sense that we are not safe, so if we are safe, we need to help calm things down so we can use the most evolved part of the nervous system, the ventral vagal state. This is when we can connect with ourselves and others, when we can play and create and enjoy intimacy. What we need to get into this state, and stay in it, will differ for each person. For some, we might need to heal from trauma, for others, we might need to learn about the assumptions we are making, or the patterns of our behavior that are making things worse. But the first step is to understand our nervous system, what it is doing, and why it is doing it. The stunned silence of a blank mind, or the sweatiness of a racing heart is simply our nervous system doing what it is supposed to do; to protect us when it senses danger. With the right help, we can learn to respond to these biological tendencies in a calm and compassionate way, so we are best placed to go about our lives. After all, we cannot live, work, or love fully if too much of our time is spent blank-minded or sweatily heart-racy! I hope this makes sense. If it raises things you would like to explore, do get in contact. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #Anxiety, #Stress, #Panic, #Trauma, #Trauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #psychology, #MentalHealth,  It is hard to open up to someone and admit that you are struggling. So imagine what it is like when you do finally reach out, and you feel vulnerable, and you are met with more judgment, gaslighting, bullying and shaming. And imagine if all of this is thrown at you by your own therapist, doctor, pastor, or teacher.
This happens on a daily basis. I have met countless professionals who work with the LGBTQIA+ community when they should not. They should be marked with a red line around them and a warning sign that they are toxic and likely to further traumatize you. They smile and nod, claiming that they never turn away ‘such clients’, and then they let slip that their religious views do not allow them to recognize gender diversity, and they view marriage and adoption as available only for a man and woman, and their personal views do not allow for LGBTQIA+ education in their schools or churches. And so it goes on (the potential for discrimination is endless). As a community, we need to make sure that we are only seeking help from professionals who are affirming. It is not enough that they accept us, or turn a blind eye, or overlook certain aspects. Dr Jamie Marich recently wrote an open letter about this important distinction, and it is an essential read. Dr Marich explains that some of these professionals are working with members of the LGBTQ+ community when the professionals still hold onto harmful beliefs such as 'hate the sin, love the sinner', or using terminology such as ''choice', 'preference', 'lifestyle' and 'sin'. If you encounter a professional who falls short of affirming you then ask them for a referral to someone who can. A non-affirming professional does not have the expertise to understand the cumulative impact of microaggressions, and no matter how hard they claim that they are 'putting aside their personal beliefs', these will leak out and the relationship will fail. Due to the power imbalance, it is likely that the professional will leave you with the feeling that you are to blame for this failure. If you are already feeling vulnerable and in need of help, this could be catastrophic. As Dr Marich points out, non-affirming professionals who insist on working with us are 'literally killing members of the LGBTQ+ community’. Take care when you trust a professional. If they are not willing or able to affirm you, they are not in a position to truly help you. If you would like to explore any of this with me, please get in contact. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #QueerTherapist, #AffirmingTherapy, #LGBTQIA, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #psychology, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Trauma forms the meat and bones of much of my work at Explore Transform LLC, and so, if we view addiction as an attempt to escape suffering, addiction is bound to show itself in my work as a psychotherapist in New Jersey. And who can forget that drug overdoses kill 81.000 Americans each year. Gabor Maté explains that “so much of what we call abnormality in this culture is actually normal responses to an abnormal culture. The abnormality does not reside in the pathology of individuals, but in the very culture that drives people into suffering and dysfunction.” To address addiction, we need to address the suffering that is being endured. That includes helping someone heal from trauma, helping them learn more helpful ways to regulate their emotions. As a psychotherapist who uses Polyvagal Theory, this includes learning to notice and name different states (whether that is the shut-down of the dorsal vagal state, the fight-or-flight of the sympathetic nervous system, or the safe, calm and connected state of the ventral vagal state). I am based in New Jersey, so I mainly see clients here, but since the pandemic, I have also been helping clients who are based in my home country of the United Kingdom (London, in particular). When I lived there, I loved working alongside Jamie Willis, who is an experienced counselor in London. Jamie does some great work with people who are struggling with addiciton. In this short video, we discuss our work, and he reminded me of Rumi's words of wisdom: "There is a voice that does not use words'" but instead it manifests. One of the ways it manifests is in addiction. To address addiction, to address any sort of unhelpful behavior or emotions, we need to tackle the source of distress. In the case of my work, we need to work on the trauma, and in the words of Rumi, "the wound is the place where the light enters you." If you would like to explore this further, get in touch. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #psychology, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  As a psychotherapist who regularly uses Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) to help people with anxiety, depression, relationship conflict, and trauma, people often ask me why EMDR works.
When you attend an EMDR therapy session, eventually (after preliminary work) we will identify target memories that relate to your current difficulties. For example, from a young age you might have formed the belief that you are ‘unsafe’ or ‘unlovable’, or you might carry around an overwhelming sense of shame or abandonment. Focusing on a target memory, we will guide your eyes laterally (left and right, rather than vertically, up and down). This process helps to quieten your amygdala (your brain’s alarm system) in relation to that target memory, and the triggering belief or emotion. Why do we know this works? Because research shows that when we walk or otherwise move forward, and things move past us, this causes our eyes to move laterally, and thus quietens our amygdala. So the lateral eye movements in EMDR replicates the brain’s natural ability to quieten the amygdala. But that is not all… When you are triggered, or experience a threat (whether that is in the present, or a distressing memory of a past event), you might fight, flee, or freeze. According to research, the part of your brain that is responsible for the fight response, or “forward confrontation”, is linked to the dopamine reward pathway (and this plays a big part in us experiencing pleasure). Faced with a threat, when we move forward in a safe way, we suppress the amygdala, and we send signals to the dopamine reward centers of our brain to reward us for forward effort. So in the face of a threat, a sense of forward action will help, and that can be replicated through the use of the lateral eye movements in EMDR - the brain thinks you are moving forward, and this suppresses the fear/alarm system of the amygdala, and it also rewards you through the production of dopamine. EMDR delivered to the comfort of your home When the pandemic hit, we were all required to use an online format to deliver EMDR therapy. I use a HIPAA compliant portal to meet you online; we still get to face each other, and use the EMDR protocol effectively, and the only difference is that we face each other on a video screen, rather than sit with each other in an office. The benefit is that you can benefit from therapy in the comfort of your home, and you can schedule your sessions with more ease (cutting out any travel time). This has worked extremely well with my clients, and therapists have been using this format long before the pandemic. Here is some research to support the use of EMDR in a virtual setting -
I hope you found this as interesting as I did! If you have any questions, get in touch. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #psychology, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Panic attacks are terrifying and debilitating. You cannot breathe, your head spins, your limbs are buzzing with energy, and you are sweating like a pig. At the time you believe that you are going to die, but you don’t. You are sure that you have something physically wrong with you (perhaps your heart or lungs), but the doctors can find no cause for all of this.
Without any explanation for this, you start to do some of the following things -
Each time you look back and realize that this is your mind playing tricks with you, rather than a serious physical health concern. But there is hope for change. With a bit of guidance, we can help you to -
To plan for the next panic attack, here are some things to consider -
Panic attacks are scary at the time, but they do not have to rule your life. There are simple tools for you to use and regain control of your life, and if these do not help, there are treatments such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy) that can help. Either way, you do not have to continue to struggle. Contact use today. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #PanicAttacks, #PanicDisorder, #Anxiety, #Stress, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth  More and more people are experiencing burnout. I do not need to point to the contributing factors, you just have to turn on the news, but I do need to point out the significance of burnout to the way your brain functions.
You can recognize burnout via a whole range of symptoms, and these are just some for you to think about: An apathy for the things that you once cared about, a sense of exhaustion, and an overall negative outlook. Why you should care about burnout There is a worrying trend amongst some to wear burnout as a badge of honor. They confuse the terms ‘grit and resilience’ with ‘burnout’, and so they shut off the warning signs that tell you that you need to rest. Eventually, you will cause harm to your mind and body, and ultimately this has a negative impact on all the things that you hold dear. Burnout should be taken more seriously because research shows that it can thin the gray matter of your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain that is responsible for important functions such as reasoning and decision-making), and it can enlarge the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system). As a result, our alarm system goes into overdrive, sensing threat when there is none, and we are less able to mediate this heightened state with cool, calming reason. When our amygdala is in overdrive, this activates the sympathetic nervous system, our ‘fight-or-flight’ response, and this can lead to excess production of cortisol (the stress hormone). There is plenty of research to show the health implications for excessive cortisol levels, including increased blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease. What you can do Any attempts to calm the amygdala will help to reduce burnout. This can be tackled on a couple of different fronts – your body, by activating your parasympathetic nervous system (your natural rest and digest state), and your thought process, by challenging the short-circuited thought patterns that lead to these heightened states of stress. In terms of your parasympathetic nervous system, you can activate this through various different methods, including simple breathing exercises or calming visualizations. I have set out some exercises on this page, so try each and start to repeat (on a daily basis) the ones you enjoy. In terms of your short-circuited thought patterns, try to watch for assumptions or beliefs that might trigger the amygdala. For example, you have been working late and you see your boss talking to HR. By assuming that they are talking about you, you are personalizing the situations and jumping to conclusions. They could be talking about a whole range of issues other than you. You are also catastrophizing, because even if they are talking about you, you are assuming it will lead to something bad, such as losing your job. You need to calm your mind by looking for evidence against this, such as a recent positive performance review, or the fact that the Great Resignation has left companies currently desperate to keep their employees. A key component to all of this is to adopt a compassionate tone to your self-talk. Throughout my years as a psychotherapist, I have found this to be one of the most underrated factors in recovery from burnout. When we judge ourselves, we end up feeling even more alienated, and this serves to worsen the symptoms of burnout. The first step to recovery is to recognize how much pressure we have been experiencing, and adopt a kind, compassionate voice, talking to ourselves as if we were talking to a young child. When we can direct compassion inwards, we are in a better position to then direct that compassion outwards, and learn to connect with, and help, other people. There is no better antidote to the cynicism and apathy that burnout can create than recognizing some sort of good that we have thrown out into this challenging world. If you need more support with this, contact us today. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #Burnout, #anxiety, #stress, #panic, #MentalHealth, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #Depression  We need safety. Without feeling safe, our nervous system activates protective responses (we become over-activated or under-activated, we become anxious or shut-down). When these protective responses are activated, it is hard to connect to others, to stay focused on conversations, to become intimate, and to trust others.
It can really help when we understand that our responses, in body and mind, are because we are hard-wired to respond that way. If we cannot sense safety in our environment, it is inevitable that we will try to fight or flee the danger, and if we cannot escape, we will shut-down, so we do not feel the full force of that danger. What I am explaining has been conceptualized by Dr Stephen Porges as a sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) and a dorsal vagal response (shut-down). According to Polyvagal Theory (Dr Stephen Porges), depression is a dorsal vagal response, and anxiety is a sympathetic response. Depression is under-activation or hypo-activation, and anxiety is over-activation or hyper-activation. Only when we sense safety can we connect with others. This makes sense because we are hardly going to have a chat with a friend, make love, or watch a favorite movie if fear that we are in mortal danger. The trouble is, when we have experienced trauma, the slightest smell, sound, touch, or image can activate these protective responses. When you work with a trauma therapist who uses Polyvagal Theory, they will help you to identify your own nervous system, and when you have been in a shutdown (dorsal vagal) state, when you have been hyperaroused (a sympathetic state), and when you have been in a more connected, ventral vagal state. For example, when you are in the sympathetic state, you might notice that you talk quickly or have racing thoughts, or you feel more angry. In the dorsal vagal state, you might notice that you are sleepy or blank-minded, or your breathing is slow, and in the ventral vagal state, you might feel warm, contented, or peaceful. Some therapists like the analogy of your nervous system as a ladder; at the top is the ventral vagal state, the most evolved. This is when we feel connected to ourselves and others, and it is only activated when we feel safe. The vagus nerve runs up from the brain down to the abdomen, so breathing and tapping exercises are helpful to activate this nerve. Some have even referred to the vagus nerve as the compassion nerve. At the middle of the ladder is the less evolved sympathetic state of fight or flight, and then at the bottom, the least evolved part, is the shutdown dorsal vagal state. Once you have identified your differing states, it can be useful to complete the following sentences for each state (whether that is dorsal vagal state, sympathetic state, or ventral vagal state): When I am in this state, I am…. And When I am in this state, the world is… Your trauma therapist will also help you to move out of a shutdown (dorsal vagal) or hyperaroused (sympathetic) state into a more connected, ventral vagal state. For example, they might help you to remember a moment when you felt safe and calm, and they will encourage you to bring this moment back using an image of that memory. If you cannot find such a time, your therapist might help you to create one. Some people even find the visualization of a certain color calming. Trauma work is not just about the client. The therapist needs to be attuned to your state (whether it is shut-down, activated, or calm), but that therapist also needs to identify their own state. This is why, unlike many other professionals, experienced trauma therapists truly practice what they preach; they do the work and become attuned to their own body and mind by doing many of the things that they might suggest for you to try in therapy. For example, they engage in mindfulness exercises, breathing and grounding exercises, and they engage in their own extensive personal therapy. I hope you found this useful. Please reach out if you would like to explore this further. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #Polyvagal, #PolyvagalTherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Ever heard of the ‘tyranny of the shoulds’ ? Psychoanalyst Karen Horney coined the phrase, and it is an unhelpful thought pattern that we can all end up using if we are not careful. We have ideas about how we should (or must) live, and how others should respond to us, and how society as a whole should be. When our expectations do not match reality, and we hold on too tightly to these shoulds, we can end up alienating others because we appear like a petulant child making impossible demands. Alternatively, if we stay silent about how we think things should be, we can end up feeling like we have been taken advantage of, which can leave us feeling devalued. Either way, our depression intensifies.
So what can we do about this?
I hope you find this helpful. If you need more support, or you have any questions, get in contact. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #CBT, #ThoughtPatterns, #EmotionRegulation, #CBTTherapist, #FindACBT Therapist, #FindATherapist, #Ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #Teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  It is great to work with clients and see how they heal and grow. Unlike other professions, I cannot share any positive feedback from clients but I can share with you some of the kind words offered by my colleagues in mental health -
“Chris is an accomplished therapist with extensive experience. I am grateful to have Chris in my network of mental health professionals.” Dr. Shavar Chase, Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, DNP, PMHNP-, BC "Chris is discerning, wise, and warm. Important combination not always found in one therapist!" Leigh Polin, Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LCSW "Chris is extremely dedicated to helping others, and his caring is matched by his skill." Jill Fellner, Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW "Chris is a stellar therapist! His compassion and clinical expertise provide the best environment to support client growth and healing." Pamela Brodie, Psychologist, PhD, LPC "Chris Warren-Dickins is especially well-prepared to deal with patients who have experienced trauma. Contact him directly for more information about this challenging area." Suzanne Saldarini, Licensed Professional Counselor, MA, LPC, NCPsyA To learn more, book a free telephone call with psychotherapist Chris Warren-Dickins. Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #Polyvagal, #PolyvagalTherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  As a survivor of trauma, it is not a coherent story that needs to be told but a nervous system that needs to be rebalanced. Trauma can leave us feeling too much or too little, hypervigilant or shutdown, alarms burning throughout our every nerve, or ice-cold, numbed and flattened.
So, when you meet with your trauma therapist, they will help you to become curious about what is unspoken and felt as much as what might be verbalized. That is why EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy) is particularly effective for trauma, because you do not need to retell the story of your trauma. Unlike other approaches to counseling and psychotherapy, which often make use of the rational brain, what is involved with trauma, and therefore the healing process, includes parts of the brain that cannot rationalize, that cannot verbalize. Trauma is a felt sense (often of overwhelm), and so healing is also a felt sense. When you start to heal, the nervous system can feel balanced again, and your bodily responses are proportionate and appropriate. Until then, the slightest thing can trigger your nervous system: A smell, a sound, the sight of something, the touch or taste of something; any of these can make past very much present. When past is present, your brain’s alarm system becomes activated, and you fight, flee, freeze, or fawn. These are protective modes because your nervous system senses that it is unsafe. Your rational brain might disagree, but it has gone offline for a while, so you are not able to connect with someone, focus on your work, engage with your children, or enjoy that long-awaited holiday. Awareness is a really big step in trauma therapy. Just to understand your body and mind a little bit more can allow for self-compassion, which is a great healer in itself. Once you know why you are sweating so much, or shaking, or you have a blank mind, or your partner seems distant, it can be really helpful to go a bit more gently with yourself. Another important part of going gently is to accept what is going on, with a sense of curiosity and compassion. Our brain and body is functioning in a certain way for a very good reason, so once we are aware of how it functions, we must accept that this is what it is doing. Only when we are accepting of ourselves can we hope for change, but change must be gradual and gentle. If we don’t go gently, we can end up re-traumatizing ourselves. Going gently can involve a concept Peter Levine called pendulation; we pendulate between, or dip in and out of, the activated parts of our body as we become more familiar with how our body and mind is responding to these triggers. To pendulate, we need resources to keep our nervous system balanced. A trauma therapist will help you discover resources you already have, or help you to create new ones. By resources, we mean experiences when you have felt safe and calm. As an EMDR therapist, I use slow eye movements to reinforce those resource experiences. Taking that first step and meeting with a trauma therapist can seem daunting. Why should we trust someone we barely even know? But the good thing about trust is that it is something that is earned over time, it is not a given, simply because of someone’s job title, professional experience, or even the broadness of their smile on their website. Go gently and listen to your body and mind. There may be questions you want answered before you disclose anything, and you might want to check that they are affirming and validating as they claim to be. Get in contact if you need to discuss this. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #Polyvagal, #PolyvagalTherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Invalidation of emotions really sucks. Invalidation sends a message that the emotions are not heard, and so this can result in the emotions being escalated. Example: ‘You shouldn’t feel like that because no one else does.’ Your emotions are valid, whether people hear or understand them
No? The half of me that has Scottish heritage is crying inside. The point is that, contrary to the song’s message, we don’t have to split up and make life a race to the finish. Could we not take a path that is some place halfway between the high and low roads? In other words, we could try one of those crucial relationship-cementing C-words: compromise. Neither party should silence the other, and even if a decision is made by one person, they need to at least consider the other person’s thoughts and emotions. To form a relationship with one of your travel companions, you do not have to surrender your individuality, any more than you should demand this of someone else. This is, after all, a relationship, and not a power grab. To compromise in a relationship means that you are communicating respect for that other person’s thoughts and emotions. It does not mean that you have to agree with what they think or how they feel, but you should at least respect that these are their experiences. Compromise allows space for the thoughts and emotions of your travel companions. Some refer to this as validation, and when it does not take place, it can lead to a whole avalanche of scary consequences. If you grew up in a household where your caregivers did not understand the concept of compromise, where your thoughts and emotions were constantly invalidated You can end up pursuing more unbalanced, unhealthy relationships where there is a glaring lack of compromise, and your thoughts and emotions are invalidated on a daily basis. You can end up trying to express those thoughts and emotions through other, less helpful, means, such as
As a result, your travel companions are even less likely to strike a compromise with you (not least because you have scared the living daylights out of them with this scary behavior). And so you become invalidated again. If any of this resonates with you, and you need to speak to an experienced psychotherapist, get in contact today. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #Polyvagal, #PolyvagalTherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Explore Transform LLC offers a tailor-made counseling and psychotherapy service in New Jersey, Maine, and the United Kingdom. Since the pandemic, we have operated fully online via a confidential video portal (teletherapy). In order to offer you an exceptional level of service, we have chosen to remain out of network.
We are committed to adopting an inclusive, person-centered approach to our psychotherapy and counseling service. We also recognize our privilege (and inevitable bias) and how this might influence our worldview. We are invested in continuously working to address this privilege and bias. Our lead clinician, Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC, is an experienced psychotherapist (Licensed Professional Counselor) in New Jersey, Maine, and the United Kingdom. Chris specializes in anxiety, depression, and trauma. Chris makes regular use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR), and they also integrate Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). No matter the approach, at the core of Chris' work is a person-centered perspective; this means that they will work hard to understand you, placing your voice at center-stage. Fun facts about Chris: Chris started out life as an attorney in the UK, and since then, Chris has been awarded a Masters in Counseling & Psychotherapy in 2010 (University of East London). That same year, Chris published research into male experiences of suicidal ideation and counseling interventions. More recently, in 2021 and 2022, Chris published two mental health books on depression, anxiety, and trauma, and Chris is currently working on a third. Aside from psychotherapy, their true passion is being a parent to two elementary-aged children. Chris finds that writing and parenting complement their approach to psychotherapy and counseling, as we are all continuously in a state of growth and change. Chris' work is greatly influenced by: Irvin D. Yalom, Dan Siegel, Jamie Marich, Jim Knipe, and Stephen Porges. Chris' roles and memberships-
Get in touch today. We would love to hear from you. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 #EMDR, #FindanEMDRtherapist, #Polyvagal, #PolyvagalTherapist, #EMDRTherapy, #EMDRTherapist, #TraumaTherapy, #FindATraumaTherapist, #HealingFromTrauma, #FindATherapist, #ridgewood, #BergenCounty, #NewJersey, #teletherapy, #FindACounselor, #Counseling, #Psychotherapy, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #Anxiety, #Trauma, #Stress  Thank you to Newsweek for asking me to be a contributor to their Life section. In this article I offer advice to someone who has experienced conflict with a close friend.
I hope my advice helps people. Read the article here. For more support with relationship conflict, get in contact today. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Explore Transform LLC Counseling and Psychotherapy in Bergen County, New Jersey www.exploretransform.com +1 (201) 779-6917 |
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Due to the COVID-19 health crisis, we are only offering sessions online.
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Lead clinician: Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
EXPLORE TRANSFORM LLC
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey
Our address is 143 E Ridgewood Ave, #1484, Ridgewood, NJ 07450
Telephone: +1-201-779-6917
Lead clinician: Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
EXPLORE TRANSFORM LLC
Providing inclusive counseling and psychotherapy for the whole of New Jersey
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