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Sometimes work can really suck, and yet we have no choice but to continue. We may not be able to change the environment around us, but we can change how we view our work stress. I have recorded an audio version of a mindfulness exercise that will help you with work stress. I hope you find it useful. If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth To manage anxiety, you need to believe in your inner resources. To believe in your inner resources, you need to become aware of, and accept, your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. To help with this, there is a mindfulness exercise called the Body Scan. During this exercise, as you scan your body, you become aware of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. A key component of mindfulness is acceptance:
You do not have to do anything about the thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, just notice them and accept them without judgment. The idea is that the more we judge, or try to reject unwanted thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations, the more power we give them. Sometimes if we just notice them, the thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations can peak and then subside. I have recorded an audio version of the Body Scan, so have a listen and see what comes up. With a little practice, you will become aware of, and accept, your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. And in time, this will give you the resilience to manage your anxiety. To find out more about anxiety, check out my additional free resources here. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth Relationships can endure pressure, and sometimes the pressure builds so much that they are fractured. If this has happened to your personal or work relationship, here are a few steps to take - 1. Decide if you need or want to repair this relationship. If you weigh up the pros and cons of having this person in your life, you may realise that it is not worth continuing with the relationship. 2. Assuming you want to keep this person in your life, or you have no choice, you need to figure out how to repair that relationship. This can be hard if someone has hurt you, or you believe that they have wronged you. You need to develop compassion for this person, and one way is to try and empathise with how they may have viewed the situation. Try and understand why they may have behaved in such a way. You don't have to agree with someone to empathise with, and understand where they are coming from. 3. Even if you can understand where someone is coming from, it can be hard to truly repair the relationship. The final, and most essential, step is to develop compassion for that person. To develop this compassion, there is a mindfulness exercise called the Loving Kindness Meditation. This encourages you to hold the image of the person in your heart, as if a parent were holding their child. This often takes time to master, but it is worth it. I have recorded an audio version of the Loving Kindness Meditation, so you can use it whenever you need to. I hope you find this useful. If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth Mindfulness is a powerful tool to beat stress and anxiety. The three minute breathing space is just one mindfulness exercise, and I have recorded an audio version so you can listen to it any time you like. I hope you find it useful. If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth If you are overwhelmed by stress or anxiety, here is a quick exercise to help. The Four Elements was devised by Elan Shapiro, and I have recorded an audio version of it. I hope you find it useful. If you would like to find out more about anxiety, you can view free resources here. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth We are now offering early bird psychotherapy sessions at 6am or 7am before your working day begins. Ridgewood train station is a short five minute walk from our office, so you have plenty of time to grab a coffee and catch your train after we meet. Early bird psychotherapy has proven extremely popular, so make contact today to find out what appointments are available. You need to invest in your mental health, so don't sacrifice quality for the cost of a few dollars. At Explore, Transform Psychotherapy, you will get the benefit of individualised care and expertise. Book online today, telephone, or send us an email. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth  Ready to be wow'd by some fun facts about your favourite psychotherapy practice? Well here goes - 1. We spell 'favourite' that way because psychotherapist Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC is British. Chris spent many years practising as a psychotherapist in London (United Kingdom) before moving to the US in 2017. (Most of Chris' family live in New Jersey, so it made sense!) 2. Our practice is a boutique service, so we can give you the extra attention you need. Unlike large psychotherapy services, where resources are limited, we can dedicate more time and energy into getting you to a place that you want to be. 3. We are located in the beautiful historic Archibald-Vroom Building. You will have the honour of attending your psychotherapy sessions in a building built centuries ago, 1785 to be exact, and as a result, it is listed on the National Register of Historic Houses. 4. The Archibald-Vroom Building is the second oldest building in Ridgewood. 5. Life it busy, so if you cannot make it in to a session, we offer a confidential teletherapy portal at no extra charge. It is easy to use, and makes your arrangement more flexible to meet your needs. 6. We are located in the heart of downtown Ridgewood, Bergen County, New Jersey. Did you know that Ridgewood often has talented musicians playing live on the streets? Before or after your psychotherapy session, why not relax by listening to the music, or going to one of Ridgewood's famous cafes, restaurants or boutique shops. Self-care starts now. If you have any questions, please feel free to give us a call. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth 
In his book ‘I Don’t Want To Talk About It’, Terence Real claims that people who have been given the male label (who I refer to as “the Male Labelled”) are conditioned to confront and assert, instead of connecting and relating to others. As a result, many people who are Male Labelled become isolated with less options to resolve emotional distress.
In my work as a psychotherapist, I often encounter men who feel desperate because they have never shared their fears. Left alone to try and work things out, their fears have grown monstrously out of proportion, and sometimes things have felt so overwhelming, that they have considered suicide. When they finally share their fears, when they finally connect to someone else, they are given the opportunity to gain a new perspective. Their problems become more manageable, and they are able to identify strategies and solutions that were available to them all along. Get high on connection Still not convinced about the benefits of connection? How about a bit of science to convince you: Dopamine is the feel-good chemical in the brain, and more is produced when we are introduced to new experiences. This new experience can be a deeper connection with people you already know or even a surface connection with a new person. In whatever form, we should be getting more of it (The Rewarding Nature of Social Interactions, Krach et al). Drugged up, lonely rats Here is some more science: Far far away, in a university in Vancouver (Simon Fraser University, to be precise), Professor Alexander built a cage for some rats to play in. He installed balls and tunnels and food, and he offered them two water bottles; one with water and the other laced with drugs. The rats often chose the plain water, and it was only when they were placed in isolation did Alexander notice that the rats started to choose the drugged water. And when the rats were returned to the cage where they could play and eat with each other, their interest in the drug disappeared. Some have argued that connection is so powerful that it can act as an antidote to addiction. How can we get this thing called ‘connection’? Nobody has a continuous, consistent level of connection with someone else. The quality of the connection can be easily influenced by how open the other person is to connecting with you. So don’t blame yourself if it doesn’t flow as easily as you hoped. You may also find it hard to connect with others if you are enduring stress. If you are distracted by the prospect of losing your job or dealing with a two-year-old child who is screaming blue murder, be kind to yourself and don’t hope for too much all at once. Our styles of connection have a lot to do with how we were raised. For example, if our caregivers (usually our parents) were emotionally distant, we might think that being emotionally distant is a desirable way of being in our adult relationships. Always do what you’ve always done, always get what you’ve always got But we can unlearn as much as we learn. How is that aloof, distant manner working out for you so far?; feeling a little lonely on that island? Why not try a different approach. Everything new feels a bit awkward at first, but with practice, it might feel a bit easier. And besides, if we always do what we have always done, we will always get what we have always got (Henry Ford). Never too late If we have never experienced a healthy connection with someone else, it is not too late to learn how. A decent therapist can show you what it is like to make a connection with someone. I hope you found this useful. Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth 
When you experience a stressful event, it can be so overwhelming that your brain gets stuck in that experience. Even if it happened many years ago.
A type of therapy called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) can help you to escape this stressful event and learn to live fully in the present. EMDR in brief EMDR helps people to heal from stressful experiences. The idea is that sometimes things get stuck in the brain, and with the help of EMDR, the blockage is removed, and the brain starts to heal. When I use EMDR, I stimulate your brain’s natural healing system to resolve the stressful experiences. The stressful experiences are resolved because, with the help of EMDR, your brain can finally process those stressful experiences. You are no longer overwhelmed by those experiences. EMDR in more detail These are the three parts of your brain that communicate with each other -
In response to a stressful event, your brain tends to tell you to do one of three things –
If your brain has not had a chance to process a stressful event, your brain can get stuck in one of those three responses (fight, flight or freeze). EMDR involves moving your eyes from left to right, a process similar to REM sleep. If you don’t like this eye movement, we can use ‘tappers’ (a small machine that you hold in your hands and sends subtle pulsing sensations from left to right). EMDR helps your brain to process those stressful experiences, so they are not stuck in a way that overwhelms you. As a result, you change your beliefs about the event and about yourself. For example –
Before any reprocessing takes place, we will also work hard to identify and strengthen any ground and calming resources, so that you never feel overwhelmed. I am a member of EMDR International Association, and they have put together a video telling you more about EMDR. Please let me know if you have any questions about this.
Book your free telephone consultation today. Or reach out to ask me any questions.
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth Postscript EMDR has been proven to be effective, and here is just some of the evidence – · American Psychiatric Association. (2004). Practice guideline for the treatment of patients with acute stress disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder. Retrieved from: https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/clinical-practice-guidelines · American Psychological Association. (2017). Clinical practice guideline for the treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in adults. Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/ptsd.pdf · Department of Veterans Affairs & Department of Defense. (2017). VA/DoD clinical practice guideline for the management of post-traumatic stress disorder and acute stress disorder. The Management of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Work Group. Office of Quality and Performance publication. doi:10Q-CPG/PTSD-04. Retrieved from: https://www.healthquality.va.gov/guidelines/MH/ptsd/ · International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. (2018). PTSD prevention and treatment guidelines methodology and recommendations. Oakbrook Terrace, IL: ISTSS. Retrieved from: https://www.istss.org/treating-trauma/new-istss-prevention-and-treatment-guidelines.aspx · National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence. (2018). Post-traumatic stress disorder. NICE guideline [NG116]. Retrieved from: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng116 · Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services America. (2012). Comparative effectiveness research series. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy: An information resource. SAMHSA's National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices. · The Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews. (2013). Psychological therapies for chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in adults. Issue 12. Article no. CD003388. doi:10.1002/14651858.CD003388.pub4. Retrieved from: https://www.cochrane.org/CD003388/DEPRESSN_psychological-therapies-chronic-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-adults · World Health Organization. (2013). Guidelines for the management of conditions specifically related to stress. Geneva: WHO. Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/mental_health/emergencies/stress_guidelines/en/ 
For many clients I work with, shame is at the core of their problems. It mocks their attempts to exercise self-compassion, or it belittles their belief that they might deserve a better life. Until shame is tackled, the problems will continue. And for some, it can ruin lives.
Guilt is a bad feeling about something you may or may not have done. In contrast, shame is a bad feeling about the core of you. No matter what you do, you carry shame of the intrinsic quality that is you. Here is another chance to read my article about shame. The next step is for you to book a free initial telephone consultation using the online booking link set out below.
Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC
Psychotherapist, (Licensed Professional Counselor), Northern New Jersey www.exploretransform.com 201-779-6917 chris@exploretransform.com #findatherapist #northernnewjersey #beyondtheblue #mentalhealth |
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